Saturday, December 13, 2014
This past week has been so busy but I've managed to stick to the plan. I have noticed small changes in myself. This makes me feel encouraged. However others can't see these victories. Does it matter? No, not really but it feels good to have your efforts acknowledged. Today I went holiday shopping and remembered I needed a special outfit for church. I had really been in a great mood, one, because I love the holidays and two because I know I have made progress. My happiness slowly turned to sadness as I struggled to find a blouse that would fit. Watching the look on the face of the salesperson as I went through one tightly fitted shirt to the next made me feel so low. I imagined the thoughts she had about me that probably aren't true. I wanted to scream "I am losing weight! I am trying". But it would not have mattered to this woman who is a total stranger. I had to stop and think, this matters to the one person it needs to, me. It matters to me. So what if I am the only person who notices these invisible victories? It probably will NEVER matter to outsiders. And that's ok. So long as I can take pride in my victories, then I am fine.