Food as punishment

My goal is to get out twice a day for a walk. The other evening I missed my 2nd walk of the day and it was too late in the day to get off the couch. So I sat there and ate fudge cookies. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was actually using the food as a punishment for not having accomplished my fitness goal. I was gobsmacked. Isn't food something I love? Why would I use it this way? It was time for me to take another look at my relationship with food. And at how I punished my body with it.

The only time I can remember totally losing my appetite was when a friend of mine died suddenly. It felt as if someone had punched me in the gut and I couldn't eat at all for almost a week. The rest of the time, I use food for just about any emotion: to celebrate, when I'm nervous and when I'm lonely or sad or bored.

I am looking forward to discovering what other emotions are attached to my food. I think tracking my food intake here will help me to identify when I go off track and why.