Day 1 - Take 12 - Motivation
Monday, January 19, 2015
I know this is finally it. I spent my life raised around sugar, carbs, & fast food. I'm still surrounded by it. It's made me hate myself so much. And numerous times over the past 6 years I have begun to fix things and gave up on it. I have spent hours upon hours of my life researching and learning. Written out plans for myself. Started and ended. I always lost motivation. I never had anyone wanting me to better myself. I knew I was doing it for myself but that wasn't enough. I tried this thing called Omni last year (first time doing anything fad related) it worked. I lost 30lbs. But I got extremely depressed. & I wasnt allowed to workout! Which I was addicted to. 30 hours a week. But I stopped for the program because I felt it's what I needed. I was wrong. I gained the weight back + 20lbs on that. Nobody was there to motivate. For some reason I didn't care.
But we're over that! Lol. I am still surrounded by 10 people in this home that love junk. white bread (ew!). The pantry and fridge are still stocked with this stuff. But I am so sick of what I have become. That it isn't appealing in the slightest. I have spent too much time not caring. Late night snacking. Not getting sleep. Not being comfortable in even a t-shirt and jeans anymore. Being locked away. I want to be able to go to even kohls and get a pair of jeans. Not Torrid, because they're the only place that carries a size 18. For like $60. I will get smaller boobs. Smaller thighs, arms, neck.. Smaller feet 💁 yafeel?😅❤️ I need this. I need to be able to wear the clothing style that I love and want. & of course not black all the time! My bestfriend is moving here around October (my birthday month) and I want to look and feel great. I plan to start at Paul Mitchell. I want it so bad but I need confidence before going in. I'm confident about my knowledge, but not my appearance.
Even if I talk to myself in these blogs for the next year and on, I still believe this is going to help.
Current weight: 249
Goal weight: 150 ❤️
It's a lifestyle change.