XRAMONAWESTFALL
1,000-2,499 SparkPoints 2,205
SparkPoints
 

Day 1 - Take 12 - Motivation

Monday, January 19, 2015

I know this is finally it. I spent my life raised around sugar, carbs, & fast food. I'm still surrounded by it. It's made me hate myself so much. And numerous times over the past 6 years I have begun to fix things and gave up on it. I have spent hours upon hours of my life researching and learning. Written out plans for myself. Started and ended. I always lost motivation. I never had anyone wanting me to better myself. I knew I was doing it for myself but that wasn't enough. I tried this thing called Omni last year (first time doing anything fad related) it worked. I lost 30lbs. But I got extremely depressed. & I wasnt allowed to workout! Which I was addicted to. 30 hours a week. But I stopped for the program because I felt it's what I needed. I was wrong. I gained the weight back + 20lbs on that. Nobody was there to motivate. For some reason I didn't care. But we're over that! Lol. I am still surrounded by 10 people in this home that love junk. white bread (ew!). The pantry and fridge are still stocked with this stuff. But I am so sick of what I have become. That it isn't appealing in the slightest. I have spent too much time not caring. Late night snacking. Not getting sleep. Not being comfortable in even a t-shirt and jeans anymore. Being locked away. I want to be able to go to even kohls and get a pair of jeans. Not Torrid, because they're the only place that carries a size 18. For like $60. I will get smaller boobs. Smaller thighs, arms, neck.. Smaller feet 💁 yafeel?😅❤️ I need this. I need to be able to wear the clothing style that I love and want. & of course not black all the time! My bestfriend is moving here around October (my birthday month) and I want to look and feel great. I plan to start at Paul Mitchell. I want it so bad but I need confidence before going in. I'm confident about my knowledge, but not my appearance. Even if I talk to myself in these blogs for the next year and on, I still believe this is going to help. 💜 Current weight: 249 Height: 5'6-7" Goal weight: 150 ❤️ It's a lifestyle change.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MABRYSMOMMA0329
    You can do this!!! emoticon Try not to over whelm your self with too much too quickly. Change food habits a little at a time and work out the way and for how ever long you are comfortable. even if the work outs are "uncomfortable"(like running was for me at first) it probably wont be as "uncomfortable" as you say you feel now, the only difference is one is helping you get to a goal that I believe you will reach! emoticon
    2077 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by XRAMONAWESTFALL