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Friends With Benefits

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

“Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.”

“I wanted to make it really special on Valentine’s Day, so I tied my boyfriend up. And for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.”




“If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?”

“I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”




“Never go to bed mad -- stay up and fight.”

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.”




Sales Ad at a Store: ‘You are my one and only’ valentine cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.

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