Thursday, March 05, 2015
So, many probably wonder where the heck I have been,... Well, went through some crazy changes in my life.. rocky moments with my husband that led me to actually start dating a guy who I have now been in an online relationship with for almost 2 years now (think what you will of that, I don't mind, I am just me.) I have found someone who makes me genuinely happy, and is there for me emotionally, and in every way he can be, and he has helped me once again break free of this shell I have been living in for the past few years. Yes I am enjoying a very "alternative" lifestyle" which is one thing that has actually brought me back, because this lifestyle I have chosen with my partner is rather strict. (BDSM lifestyle if anyone is really curious) and I am very into it, and most of the aspects within it. I have grown, I have changed alot. I won't say it is a bad change ever, I enjoy it and embrace it. I am learning that even with my weight going up the way it did (gained about 20 pounds since I was last here), I am still beautiful inside and out, and I embrace my flaws and just work to make the changes that I want to see. My partner is happy with me how I am, and accepts that I am wanting to get back down to what I was before (almost 30 pounds or more lighter than I am now.:) I accept that I need to do this at my own pace, and I accept any and all motivation people can give me :) I recently found out that I have cancer cells on my cervix which the doctors have tried to remove, they are just WAY too aggressive and I now in a couple weeks have to go in and have a hysterectomy done after much thought on this. I decided y health comes before having more children, because without my health I could not take care of another child physically. SO I decided this is the best option for ME, and If I choose to someday, I will adopt. That is what is right for me.My son is now about to be 11 years old (March 30th). Much about me has changed and grown for the wiser.