I don't make any progress - what is wrong with me?

Monday, April 06, 2015

Am I not working hard enough? Am I making too many excuses? Am I too lazy, not motivated enough, inconsistant, or simply destined to fail? No, I don't believe that last phrase is true, but I really am trying to figure out why I am having such a hard time.

Over a year ago one of my friends and I started at the same weight. One year later she lost 21 lbs and I gained 12. emoticon I keep trying and trying and trying, and for whatever reason I have not discovered how to do it right. Of course I am aware that my sweet tooth and my tendency to eat at night have a lot to do with my lack of success. So I guess I DO know what is wrong. I just don't know how to fix this.

I keep setting goals only to realize that they are unrealistic. If I set realisitc goals, I get sidetracked and forget what I set out to do.

At times I get rather discouraged, but eventually I pick myself up by my bootstraps and keep moving again.

Of course I realize my situation is not unique. As a matter of fact I think I have an equal number of Sparkfriends who are like me and those who are successful. I keep looking at those friends who make things happen, and I try to discover the difference between those who do it and those who struggle.

Normally I probably would end my blog with an "I can do it", but today I really am not all that certain.

Thankfully tomorrow is another day.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Look at all the support here! No, you are not alone. If it were easy.... and it does seem easy for some people but not for some of us. Weight is complicated. Some days I wish they could put me in a coma, put me on an IV drip and on an exercise machine and have me wake up when it is done. Not... but ... well, you know. Some days I am just not sure where I am going wrong. And then I remember the day I walked into Overeater's Anonymous and they said "you have a disease".

    The old "golden rule" of burn more than you eat is a really old rule and outdated.

    For me the first rule is stop dieting. If I am not succeeding it is probably because I have a diet mentality.

    Instead I need to look at if I am doing my best to be healthy.
    Am I eating foods that will trigger cravings?
    Can I add in more vegetables?
    Can I add in some movement?
    Am I doing any strength training at all because my core NEEDS it.

    Throw weight out the window emoticon . I have NO CONTROL OVER MY WEIGHT. I can do things other people do and not get the same results. And, I can sabatoge myself like crazy trying. So what can I do?

    I can realize that when I make a healthy choice it is good, ALWAYS. It means I care about myself. It means I am doing something NOW for feeling better now. Which is why I don't like going to the gym and doing classes. They don't make me feel better. But I do like doing my crunches on my ball... because I see the progress. I do like going for walks. I have found vegetable recipes that I really enjoy. If it works, repeat. If it doesn't file it to try later or throw it out.

    I want to do things. So... do them.
    I want to try new things. So... try them.
    Say yes when asked. Have fun.

    Just for today... I can measure my portion of rice. It has become a habit not to pile up my plate. I take a "normal" portion. Hey, I learned that something else was normal... like half a plate. Go figure. So I am not really depriving myself or having a diet portion... I am learning what normal is and trying to be that... eat the way I would when I am a normal size.

    I read a good blog today that said "no means yes". I liked it. When I say "no" to a cookie I can say in my head "but what can I say yes to?" It might be a fruit but it might be sitting and reading a chapter of my book or putting on hand lotion. It is just a survival strategy... but it might stop the conversation in my head that is whining that it needs that cookie.

    I think the most important thing is to give up trying to lose weight and instead try and build healthy habits. I am stronger, feel better, have better blood work, and I look really good. If I have the chance, I do something. Drink some water. Do some exercise. Call a friend. Go to bed on time. These are all huge pats on the back telling myself that I matter and I CAN do this.

    Wow, I needed this pep talk. emoticon

    2198 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    I am sorry you are finding it such a struggle to drop weight. I had to back up and do baby steps to make it work for me. I started with getting all my water each day. Then for the sweet tooth, believe it or not, if you can avoid sweets for just a week or two, they tend to lose most of their appeal. Try substituting your favorite fruit! I splurge on fresh cut pineapple and fresh cut watermelon to curb my sweet tooth! I hope this helps some!
    2202 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14566395
    I feel just as you do . Got on spark about a yr ago lost 25 lbs then gained it back. now lost 25 again but I cant get anymore off then that. no matter how much I work. I have come to the fact that my eating is not good. No sweet tooth but I do eat out more then at home. I know no matter how much I work till I control it and maybe eat at home more I wont loose anymore. I have not gained it back either. I think right now I am working out to eat. Going in circles. I will get it right someday . You will too. We all loose weight differently also some more then others slower is better. Muscle weighs more then fat so measure inches. The scale lies to us. One day you will get on it and would have lost more it will catch up. Oh and drink more water at night. emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2202 days ago
  • no profile photo CD14903239
    My sweet tooth is my downfall and to have a husband who has one too, is not good!!! I have tried many times to give the sweets up-once for a month! Felt so good, but the moment that 30th day came, I was dreaming of that carrot cake muffin I love they make at Panera Bread! Geeze! I guess I didn't learn from that! So, I have tried to reduce it to once or twice a week...that has helped. Most of the time I will only get 60% and above Dark chocolate-like Ghirardelli or Lindt. Then on the weekend, maybe that muffin, but you know they quit making it or its sold out by the time we get there. So, that is a blessing in disguise really!! Believe, me I still haven't learned the magic formula for me yet. All I know is that now I love to exercise, take walks, even lift weights (nothing big-just 2 pound weight a few times a week) and I always count my calories. It took me a couple years to really get to the point I loved to exercise and then I started getting injured! That put a crimp in my activities. Now I basically am starting from scratch again...have to work up to where I was 2 years ago!! It takes practice and to not be too hard on yourself. The thing to do is stay focused, eat healthier and find an exercise you love..swim, bike, walk, whatever it may be. You will get there. It is good your are blogging about it and we are here to support you, cheer you on or commensurate with you. We are all here because we are all in the same boat...some have a faster boat...but, we need to go at the pace that will be as encouraging for us as possible. Life does get in the way...just don't let it stop you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

    Nobody trips over mountains. It is the small pebble that causes you to stumble. Pass all the pebbles in your path and you will find you have crossed the mountain. ~Author Unknown
    2202 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/7/2015 12:34:31 AM
  • no profile photo CD1610124
    I am so sorry you are struggling. I wish I had the magic words that would make it all come together and work for you, but I am still trying to find them for myself. I have tried this several times, but still overweight. I'm still here, still giving it my all. I will not give up. I believe God wants what is best for me, and obese is not it. I hope we both have better times ahead.
    2202 days ago
  • RAMONA1954
    I have a horrible snacking and sweet tooth problem so I can relate. Keep doing the good things you're doing. I eat mostly at night so that's something that needs help. Start with 1 thing and work your way through the problems
    2202 days ago
    I wish I had something profound to say, but all I can say is that I sympathize. I, too, feel like I just can't seem to do it. I know what the problems are, but that doesn't make them any easier to fix!

    Anyway, I hope when you wake up tomorrow you feel more positive about the situation!
    2202 days ago
    I get discouraged at times because of stress and the thought that I will never get in the dress I wanted to wear 10 yrs ...but I am trying to think about one thing at a time now. It helps to focus on one thing, master it.Like drinking water.
    2202 days ago
    So I too have a terrible sweet tooth!!! However i found that nonfat whip cream in a can has 5 cal a serving. Put that on some strawberries or blackberries-delish! Didn't even miss the pound cake.
    2202 days ago
    make your goals smaller and reward yourself for doing them for a week

    plan your meals so that everything is laid out for you and you do not have to search for what you are going to make

    you are absolutely normal and you are gong to reach your goals
    2202 days ago
    I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Maybe you just need to find some "healthier" sweets for your sweet tooth. There are several recipes on this site that are very good and low in calories. I have a bit of a sweet tooth every once in awhile and have found that sugar-free jello with cool whip free helps to tame it.

    Best of luck to you on your journey to a healthier you!
    2202 days ago
    Good Luck!
    2202 days ago
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