AJKIRKMAN
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What now?

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

I waited 22 years to be reunited with the love of my life. And when we finally reconnected I gave up everything I could lay claim to in this world for the opportunity to tell him I never quit thinking about him, that I always have and always will have a deep longing for him that is more powerful than any other emotion I have felt in my life.
We had four years together this time. I thought everything was perfect, or as close to it as I was ever going to get. About 2 1/2 weeks ago, he told me he doesn't feel any love for me anymore. And he hasn't for the past year. I was not prepared for that to come out of his mouth at all. I cannot pinpoint any prior indication that anything was even wrong. I was absolutely shocked and I don't shock easily. It took about a week for the shock to wear off and reality to set in. He doesn't love me anymore. And there isn't a thing I can do about it.
All of my hopes and plans for the future are irrelevant now. I have no idea what I should be doing. The only I can do most of the time is cry and mourn the loss of my love, my best friend, my partner, my soul mate, my lover, my everything.
So what now? I do not have a clue.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WILLIAMWONTELL
    Thought it was time to put on your big girl britches?

    First you come up with a plan. How are you going to eat and exercise?

    Or are you gonna whine?
    1703 days ago
  • COOKIEMAKER-01
    You are worth more than dealing with someone that doesn't want you. If he left you, then he's not the one. Pray for the Lord to send you someone who will love you for you. If you need to vent, go right ahead. There's a lot of us with big shoulders. I will also pray that you can find peace.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1704 days ago
  • LOOKASHINY
    I am so sorry you are going through this. Nothing prepares you for heartbreak like that. We are here to listen and get to know you as you would like. I wish I knew how to make you feel better. I hate it when people say such things but with time you will heal slowly.

    Hang in there,
    Laura
    1704 days ago
  • no profile photo JEANNETTE59
    One day at a time, one step at a time you will move forward. From what you write this man has left you twice and that is two times too many. It will take time, but you will heal and grow and if you allow us we will be here for you. emoticon & emoticon


    1704 days ago
  • DWROBERGE
    emoticon
    1704 days ago
  • SOUTHERNGRITS55
    Well Angel.. If he did this and could not talk to you... He is a bum.. a real man will always be there fro you and not afraid of saying something is wrong.. I feel so bad for you.. I gave my life away and I thought that beatings and hurt was what it was all about but I have a man now.. We have been married for over 27 years and he has never laid a finger on me or made me feel like dirt to anyone.. We still laugh and now he has helped me raise my Children and now we have three dogs.. We have two labs Sadie Chocolate and Gracie Yellow or vanilla and now we rescued a Coonhound and she is a very loving pup.. She is a growing pup.. Women should not be treated this way and deserves a lot more than they get.. My heart breaks for you and I am sure as I am sitting here you will find that one.. After reading this I just ask God to lead you to places you need to be.. You shouldn't cry over a big baby .. Could you imagine if he stayed around..? He would not be faithful or treat you like dirt.. so be thankful you are so much more than that.. I had a rough life and I just can't think of what kind of a person he could be.. I am here and I check my mail.. If you need me.. I only leave for a few to go pick up my Grand Son.. but will be here for a bit.. Please Angel don't cry.. You will make yourself sick and I don't think he was worth you doing this to yourself.. In His Love and Grace Just me emoticon emoticon
    1705 days ago
  • JOHNWBROCKSR777
    Hello...Spark People has become my support groups for you see I am a recovering grease-holic. Yes, it is true if you can "fry it" I can "eat it".

    Moderation is a very important key to being successful in our journey. One day at a time....Look for small victories...Look for non-scale successes.

    Spark People research has found that people who get involved in social teams tend to be more successful in their efforts.

    I want to personally invite you to join the SparkPeople's Official Healthy Habits Challenge Team. There you will find others that will support you in your journey and you will be able to help others as well.

    On our team page BOBCATGIRL76 one of our team leaders has a great article to check out. Let me know what you think.

    We are here to help. YOU can DO this! Oh by the way...have you ever tried Fried cardboard, don't have much favor but a nice crunch....lol....Live life today.

    Remember: By Endurance we conquer-Shackleton

    John
    1705 days ago
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