KEIJAN

SparkPoints
 

I hate these entries.......

Tuesday, May 05, 2015

Hi All. It has been almost 3 years since I have been back on here. 3 years and every single pound is back on my body that I lost. Every. Single. Pound. I hate this entry for so many reasons. I hate it because I do not want to be writing that I have gained, I want to be writing that I am down again or, at least, maintaining. I do not want this to be a "Here I am again" blog because I hate that I AM HERE AGAIN! Grrrrr!

Anyway......here I am. I have joint pain again and I have gained all that I lost back and during a recent period of absolute fear and loathing of the scale, I briefly stepped on it and was a higher weight than I have ever been without being pregnant. I avoided the scale for a long time after that and did not venture back onto it until I knew I had lost at least a little bit. *SIGH* I wish I had better things to say. I wish I had a plan, but I really don't. The only thought in my head right now is that I need to come back here to Spark. If I am reading about the success or struggles of others everyday, maybe that will be just the motivation I need. It worked three years ago when I lost 40+ pounds......I hope and pray it can work now too.

Have a great night. Tomorrow will be better.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo CD12551381
    I've done the exact same thing. I lost about 60 before and gained all of it back plus 50. Life happens sometimes. I moved three times, twice 400 miles plus, changed jobs a lot and a million other things. Life just happens. This time, we will plan better though. This time you can keep it off for good! You lost it before, you can do it again. emoticon
    2123 days ago
  • KEIJAN
    Thank you for reading and for the support! I know this site helps a lot, so I'm back again this morning.....tracking food and trying to stay busy.
    2124 days ago
  • MICH1954
    I found Sparkpeople to be the answer to my need for help to fight my FAT twin (the boy inside me that wants to eat anything he can get his hands on and then set around watching TV all day) ... I have learned I love to walk and I enjoy sharing my successes with others while at the same time I am willing to share my failures too. It is this kind of accountability that has helped me get a start on my road to better health, a more positive attitude and a generally happier me.

    I will pray the GOD, Jesus and the Holy Spirit will give you the strength and knowledge to once again reach your goal and become everything you ever really wanted to be.
    2125 days ago
  • ELYSIAN_DREAMS
    Don't feel bad -- you're in good company. I keep ending up in major carwrecks, gaining weight from depression and inactivity (b/c my mobility was compromised), then finally losing weight. About the time I'm at a good weight, I'm in another major wreck. And I end up a little more injured and a little heavier each time. It's getting old, fast.
    The trick is to not give up. Gains and losses happen. Life is strange, and sometimes feels like its working against us -- as if we need another challenge -- but don't give up. It always sucks to gain weight we've worked so hard to lose, but it can be done. (In my case, over and over and over... which I don't recommend.) You can do it! I wish you the best!
    2125 days ago
  • CHERRYSTUFFTWO
    Please don;t beat yourself up about your weight gain. How long were you able to keep it off? Did you keep all or most off for 3 years before coming back to SP? Maybe this time you should stay with Spark so you stay modivated. Make some long term goals and some short term goals that you can accomplish in a short time, like drinking your water just for today. If you go to my blog Just for today, you will see I have written some things down that I only have to do just for today and not worry about yesterday or aboua today

    My SP page Cherrysfufftwo This time I hop you will you stay with yhe program
    2125 days ago
  • LESLIEADECAIRE
    Im back too! I had lost 105 pounds 3 years ago and now Ive gained about 50 of it back :( I went through a move and lost my 'fitness friends' and favorite fitness classes. I hate being back too, but at least we're continuing to try right?
    2125 days ago
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.