GRACIOUSWRITING
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Tired Frustrated and Angry

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Ok, I know it's been a while since I've been here. The reason being for my absence?

I've been sick and having trouble with my stomach. I've been in pain with no appetite. I have not been able to eat a decent meal since after Easter. At first I just thought it was something that would pass but it didn't. It kept getting worse to the point of nausea and throwing up occasionally. Also I have not been sleeping well either.

I went to the doctor's on April 30 to get checked out. So what they told me is that it could be anything so they referred me to the GI department for a CT scan.

Now comes my dilemma.

I was scheduled for my CT scan tomorrow but received a phone call yesterday to say I needed to have more blood drawn after I had already went in last week to have it drawn. Without this blood work they will not do the CT scan. Now for some reason the particular blood work I needed specifically for this scan was not put on my blood work I had drawn last week.

So to make a long story short, I had to reschedule my scan which is the third time I've had to do it. So I still have to wait another week before I can even begin to think about eating normal meals again. Another week of pain and feeling crappy and weak. Another week of not being able to exercise or even enjoy my life.

I don't know what is wrong with me and this issue with my stomach, but because I already have trouble eating when I feel good this just made it worse. My meals now consist of maybe 2 or three bites, 4 or 5 if I am lucky.

Right now I am very stressed out and frustrated because I have to wait on other people to figure things out. I am angry because when it comes to my health medical wise, it's very difficult to diagnosis me with the proper diagnose. I am one of those medical anomalies. I don't fit into the mold of normal for most physicians and doctors, so they have to go a different route when it comes to me.

I am just really tired of fighting to stay alive and well!

I like to say, with my medical history, "I make my medical professionals work for their money and the degrees they have earned or is earning." Some have even called me "a walking medical miracle." I am usually that 1% in a 1000 you hear about. It's been like this all my life!

So to all of you who have been reaching out to me since not being here I want to say a "BIG THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT AND THINKING ABOUT ME." I am so grateful that there really are people that do care.

I will be back though, once I can figure out what's going on. This is a major set back for me because I really was on a good streak. The only thing I can say that is good coming out of this is that I have lost weight. It's not in the way I wanted too, but the body knows what it needs to do.

So again thank you all for being here and I look forward to the time I will be back in full swing again.

*Grace* for the Journey

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