LADYHOLYOAK

SparkPoints
 

giving myself credit...

Saturday, June 06, 2015

i put on another board my "to do list" today was to give myself credit.

i don't feel like reposting--but maybe i should... nah.

right now, i am thinking of the index cards i wrote up today. one of them of note to me was: STOP THINKING: "why should i reward myself, like a school person, and give myself stickers for stuff i know i should be doing.." and i am supposed to realize that that is sabotaging myself, to say that. i should say: if i didn't have a problem overeating, and if i didn't have a problem w/eating too much, and if i didn't have a problem w/worrying about what other people thought of me, or other such silly insecurities that i actually have, then that would be a valid reprimand. BUT. i am overweight. i have a problem with my eating habits. i worry about what other people think of me. i have insecurities. so, by golly, if i do something right, and i do something a skinny person would do, or feel something a skinny person would feel--or DON'T feel something a skinny person would feel, then by golly, if i want a sticker, I DESERVE THE STICKER. and, if i want to take credit for it, then i deserve to take credit for it. i earned it. i worked hard for it. i struggled and stressed and hurt for it. so why would i go all goofy and say i don't deserve a silly little, 5 cent sticker?? how insane is that? INSANE.

AND i bet you money, that it is officially called sabotaging myself when i rant and rave at myself, too. if anyone were to even look like they were going to rant and rave at my kids about a silly little sticker, it would be better for them to look at me before they did, and they would understand how big of a mistake that would be.... so why can't i treat myself like i would treat my kids? how dare i get so mad at myself at such little things?? shows how far i have to go. at least i SEE the hole this time... i think...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • QUEENOTHEFOREST
    Loved this. Laughed out loud when I read about the kid thing. So true.
    2078 days ago
  • GARDENCHRIS
    become your own best friend, God DID NOT make Junk, and you are a DAUGHTER of the KING! There is NOTHING you can do to earn it and NOTHING you can do to LOSE that status! Live like a Daughter of the King! emoticon
    2094 days ago
  • CAKAROO
    emoticon
    2094 days ago
  • NELLJONES
    Back in the days of paper planners and trackers, we'd put little stickers on the pages. Why not? It's not like it's going to be published. Because of new hobbies like scrapbooking, there are lots of adorable stickers out there. Your tracker will look like you are having FUN!!
    2094 days ago
  • JIBBIE49
    Here's a sticker for the honest thinking work you just did..
    Done Girls ROCK
    2094 days ago
  • BETH4SUCCESS
    Here's a sticker for the honest thinking work you just did....
    2094 days ago
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