what was was and what will be might be. maybe.
Monday, June 08, 2015
When does it end???
I had a docs appt today, had a lot of blood work done, all the hormones and all the cholesterol and all that good stuff, or bad....
and the b12 and vitamin d.
Havent gotten the results back yet, might be a few days.
and of course, my weight was unchanged.
the victory of 4 pounds i lost, or thought i had lost was short lived because it was back when i got on the scale today.
Was maybe just water weight???
haha, whatever it was, it was playing a big joke on me.
Needless to say I was and am beyond disappointed.
Doctor is sneaking in hints about the possibility of surgery.
I am sitting there in defeat, no no no to surgery!!!
That was the choice I made 3 years ago, when I really got really really serious about this.
and began walking, choosing healthier options, walking more, working out, LOSING WEIGHT.
that was also short lived when I broke my foot 6 months in and was totally devastated to be forbidden to walk, unable to walk, dying to walk.
But it never was the same after.
No amount of walking would render the results I had been seeing before.
and the weight slowly creeped back in when no one was looking.
the gap closed from 70 pounds, to 63 and stayed there awhile, then it closed from 63 to 46, where it stands today.
I am in limbo.
Or maybe its pergatory???
Maybe this is what it is like.
So, I eat healthy the rest of the day.
Drink my water, Spark and find encouragement and ideas and such here.
and I listen to the pouring rain wash away any chance to walk.
Yes, there are other workouts and yes i do partake, Not as much as I should or as much as i WILL START.
But walking is more.
Walking is life. It is where I find me.
I really need to find the me that was losing all that weight, where did I go?????