Starting this Journey for a Prize Worth Everything...
Friday, June 19, 2015
As a child, like most people, I've gone through times off and on of being a little "chunky" and being just fine. Through out high school I was fairly average. Fluctuating between a size 7 or 9 sometimes during winter and holidays a size 11. I was a very active child and teenager. I was a youth cheerleader and I played softball for 12 years. I also played basket ball for 3 years but that wasn't my forte'.
The year after I graduated I was going on the second year of an unhealthy relationship, but to me was my first REAL serious relationship. I had lost a little bit of weight, which at the time was pretty visible since I wasn't that big to begin with. The turmoil went on for 2 years and 4 months and when we broke up I kind of went bazerk!! I started drinking probably way to much for my moms liking and eating terrible and large portions. It didnt take long until I had basically blown up. I refused to ever step on a scale during that time because I didnt want to even know, or admit I was in danger health wise. But weight was an issue and continued to be one for 3 years.
My best friend was substantially heavier than me and had a few health problems because of it. She had flown to Mexico for a mission trip and almost had a panic attack on the plane (only apparent to her) because she didnt really fit into the seat on the plane. She was extremely uncomfortable and stressed the entire flight and normally she loved flying. A switch flipped in her and she began to exercise and diet. A family friend owned a gym at the time and has always been concerned with my best friend's weight. She said that since Ashley was her hairstylist and was in great need to lose weight and get healthy she would be given a gym membership for free and since she needed a support system she told Ashley that I could have a free gym membership also to try and keep Ash motivated.
And motivate we did!! She motivated me and I motivated her. Her stating weight was 326lbs and mine was 276lbs. She wound up loosing 100lbs and I lost 74lbs. I looked pretty good. I fit into a size 14 pants from American Eagle that I couldnt fit in for probably 4.5 years. I was well on my way to getting back to being healthy and didnt have that far to go. I kept it off for 2 years but didnt really lose any more than that.
Then I met my husband Josh. He was a younger "kid", as I liked to call him because he was 5 years younger than me. He flirted hard core with me at work nd I flirted back but I made it aware I was NOT interested in a younger boyfriend. Especially not 5 years younger. But he amazed me. He was 19, had his own apartment and paid for EVERY bill he had and had money to have fun and live off of... not to mention HE was MY supervisor.... He was just so different. A different that I fell madly in love with, head over heels!!
And then a year later we moved in together and I went on birth control. The birth control was not too friendly in the weight department especially combined with that "comfortable" feeling all couples talk about when they gain around 10 to 15 pounds when they get "happy". My birth control was 98 bucks a month and I was working and going to school so I just couldnt afford it. I had to go on a different kind. I had only gained about 50lbs back with the NuvaRing birth control but I had to go on a pill form of birth control and I am now sitting at 307.6 lbs.... miserably.
I fast forwarded A LOT without really mentioning some important parts of my life story, but long story short... Josh and I got married October 20th 2013 and it was perfect and beautiful!! I continued to add pounds to the scale but my mind set was I was married and my husband would love me no matter what and one day I'll try to lose weight again... and I was right my husband has loved me. Every gaining inch and increased pound to the fullest and hasnt acted as if he has noticed any change in weight since the day I met him at 199.2 lbs. We're going on year 2 of marriage and have decided we want to begin to start a family in the very near future. But I wanted to take all precautions first... starting by initial OBGYN appointment for a pre-conception discussion.
At my last doctors appointment I was 309.8 lbs and that was at my OBGYN appointment to talk about my plan for trying to have a baby in the near future and her very first words were LOSE WEIGHT!!!! She told me she obviously was not trying to be mean but there are so many risks I could potentially prevent just by losing even 50lbs...
So that is where I am as of now... I will post a blog ever month maybe a few times a month, especially if I have exciting news!!
So stay tuned......