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Today I'm Struggling

Friday, July 10, 2015

Today I am struggling. Two people in my family are having health issues that require them to be in places where they can get the care they need. They don't want to be in these places. They don't want to need care. They are blaming me for how they feel and for what is happening in their lives.

I get that what they are feeling isn't my fault. They are just venting their fear and anger and pain. Rationally I know I have tried to do what is the best, most loving and caring thing for them.

But the little voices in my head are telling me all their nasty words are really true. I am a bad person and nobody likes me. It is hard to make good choices when I don't feel good about myself. I know this is temporary and it isn't really my problem...but I have somehow let in this negativity and it feels heavier than any fat I have ever carried. emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    You shouldn't feel bad as you did what you feel is the best for them. They are scared and venting it on those closest to them. I know it's difficult (I've been in your shoes) but eating poorly won't help the situation. You need to stay strong so you can get healthier. Who knows what our futures hold but carrying excess weight can't be good.
    2061 days ago
    Life is sometimes about making hard decisions that you don't want to have to make. For you to make those decisions rather than ignore them, as is the temptation, says much for your character. Be strong and let love, not guilt, guide you.
    2061 days ago
    Remember you have tried to do what is best, for them and yourself. Keep repeating that until the negative thoughts lessen & go away.
    2062 days ago
    Remember - they're "not the boss of you"........and that includes their feelings!
    2062 days ago
    2062 days ago
  • PINKD333
    My favorite little thing to say when I am feeling like that is "feelings ain't facts". Hang in there, you are beautiful!

    2062 days ago
    To stay in the light when there is darkness around is always the most challenging!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    2062 days ago
  • RIKKIN22
    Don't let them get to you! The fact you love and care for them already says a lot about you! I am sure you are a wonderful person! I know it is easy to let people's words get to you, but just remember you are doing your best. They will come around in due time. They are just letting their nerves get to them. Keep your head up, and keep working towards your goals! If you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to message me. I know I am just some random person, but sometimes they are the best to talk to? Either way try to be happy! Everything will be better soon!
    2062 days ago
    i think sometimes people get frustrated and take out their frustrations on people nearest to them such as caregivers and family. They don't really mean what they are saying. Hang in there! I'm sure you are an amazing person!
    2062 days ago
    You are so right. Don't pick up that extra weight (heck, isn't that why we are here?). Your family members are frightened, afraid and angry with the changes ahead. I probably would be too if I were walking in their shoes. They are lashing out at you to vent their frustrations and anger. Besides it is always easier for them to blame someone else than to take personal responsibility for their actions that led them to this point! It hurts. It's painful but eating is not the answer. Eating will only lead you to the path of guilt and shame! Who needs to go there!

    You are NOT a bad person! And personally dear spark friend, I LIKE you! I find you inspiring and encouraging!

    So set that extra weight down. Do something nice for you that you enjoy. Go for a quick walk in the woods soaking in the beauty of nature or take a soak in the tub - whatever it is you enjoy! Be kind to you. Nurture yourself like you nurture your family members. Girl you rock!
    2062 days ago
    I'm just meeting you for the first time virtually here, but I'm sure that you're not a bad person! Don't let the negativity bring you down. Hang in there!
    2062 days ago
    Very sad when you have to do what is best for others and it goes against their wishes. I hope things turn around for you. Remember they really don't mean what they say. Hugs!
    2062 days ago
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