The Fork In The Road
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Today...I am re-evaluating where Im at with my health and fitness. As of Feb, this year, that was the 'new, fresh start'
Part of the plan was (and is) to discard all the 'crap' that's out there. To make a plan based on me...who I am..how I think..and also...for me, I really asked God for His help. I'd always done that, I thought..but I think it was kind of 'generic' the way I did that.
What I have found, this time around,,,is that my thinking is where it all takes place. Whatever I let into my mind...that's what comes out in action. While working on surrendering it to God...this unhealthy lifestyle I've had...it has been a process of laying it all out there and really looking at what it is I've been doing. .....all while putting a simple, simple plan to work .
I find myself, right now, in kind of a limbo...plateau...just a blah place....but not 100%. Half, maybe? ...yet, I feel a bit of confidence in this 'new approach' of 1) surrendering to God, asking for his strength first and foremost 2) realizing what that really means, in the moment and then finding that practical way to apply it and 3) really listening and 'watching' my thinking, and where it takes me
I'm amazed that I can commit myself ...get all giddy and excited,,,and 5 months in...I sit up and eat peanut butter with syrup (cuz that was the only sweet I could find) and then had chips and cheese...what???
So...what is that?...oh wait...the night before...several cookies....so what do I see?
I see that I have moments where I tell myself,,,I don't care. This is hard. Its annoying. Im sick of it. .....and there's the fork in the road.
What Im learning is the fork in the road,,,can appear several times in a journey. lol...like everyday, sometimes, for like a week...or more.....or is that really what is happening?
When I associate things with 'visuals'..I learn easier..better. It 'sticks'. It's like a lesson in a picture...like the fork in the road.....do I go this way or that way.
As I've been examining my thinking,,I realize I even go as far as thinking ...'fine...I'll just stay fat'. ...another thing...I've lost about 23 lbs. and just seem to be staying there...so I've bought a few new clothes...which in turn made me feel pretty good. ....feeling good should lead me to 'keep going'.....yet I notice that at times it makes me stop trying as hard.....
Why would success ...make me stop trying so hard? ...suddenly I feel that little mind thing that says...'you can eat that'...or...' you're exercising tomorrow,,you'll lose it'...and a ton of other thoughts like that .
What's becoming more and more clear to me...isn't the why. Its the 'what am I going to do', that counts.
When I find myself saying..'I can exercise that off'...Im not dealing with the truth. For me, I have to establish the good habits...make the changes....live with them...deal with them...keep them...entrench them....make them like auto-pilot in my life......and then do it some more.
Food is not a drug. Its not my answer to boredom. Blahs. Anger. Happy. Im learning food is fuel. When its not being used as fuel, Im learning to stop asking why. Just say no.
Back to the basics. Go to bed earlier. Set the environment up for success. Reach out for support. Write about your journey. Be realistic about life. ...
So..back to the fork in the road. Liken this to a road trip...a map if you will....but its a well known trip. I know where it goes...I know where it can lead....Im familiar with this stretch of road.....and it just becomes about choice. ...the choice to turn towards what is good for me. Im learning that making good choices doesn't always come automatically to ppl. We have to train ourselves. Learn to read the map. Know what is required when we decide to take a trip. Plan for the 'weather'. The 'terrain'. Bring the right stuff with you. ....I am NOT taking the wrong turn. I know where it leads. ....so...back to re-packing:)