REDDMARIE7

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The Fork In The Road

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Today...I am re-evaluating where Im at with my health and fitness. As of Feb, this year, that was the 'new, fresh start'

Part of the plan was (and is) to discard all the 'crap' that's out there. To make a plan based on me...who I am..how I think..and also...for me, I really asked God for His help. I'd always done that, I thought..but I think it was kind of 'generic' the way I did that.

What I have found, this time around,,,is that my thinking is where it all takes place. Whatever I let into my mind...that's what comes out in action. While working on surrendering it to God...this unhealthy lifestyle I've had...it has been a process of laying it all out there and really looking at what it is I've been doing. .....all while putting a simple, simple plan to work .

I find myself, right now, in kind of a limbo...plateau...just a blah place....but not 100%. Half, maybe? ...yet, I feel a bit of confidence in this 'new approach' of 1) surrendering to God, asking for his strength first and foremost 2) realizing what that really means, in the moment and then finding that practical way to apply it and 3) really listening and 'watching' my thinking, and where it takes me

I'm amazed that I can commit myself ...get all giddy and excited,,,and 5 months in...I sit up and eat peanut butter with syrup (cuz that was the only sweet I could find) and then had chips and cheese...what???

So...what is that?...oh wait...the night before...several cookies....so what do I see?

I see that I have moments where I tell myself,,,I don't care. This is hard. Its annoying. Im sick of it. .....and there's the fork in the road.

What Im learning is the fork in the road,,,can appear several times in a journey. lol...like everyday, sometimes, for like a week...or more.....or is that really what is happening?

When I associate things with 'visuals'..I learn easier..better. It 'sticks'. It's like a lesson in a picture...like the fork in the road.....do I go this way or that way.

As I've been examining my thinking,,I realize I even go as far as thinking ...'fine...I'll just stay fat'. ...another thing...I've lost about 23 lbs. and just seem to be staying there...so I've bought a few new clothes...which in turn made me feel pretty good. ....feeling good should lead me to 'keep going'.....yet I notice that at times it makes me stop trying as hard.....

Why would success ...make me stop trying so hard? ...suddenly I feel that little mind thing that says...'you can eat that'...or...' you're exercising tomorrow,,you'll lose it'...and a ton of other thoughts like that .

What's becoming more and more clear to me...isn't the why. Its the 'what am I going to do', that counts.

When I find myself saying..'I can exercise that off'...Im not dealing with the truth. For me, I have to establish the good habits...make the changes....live with them...deal with them...keep them...entrench them....make them like auto-pilot in my life......and then do it some more.

Food is not a drug. Its not my answer to boredom. Blahs. Anger. Happy. Im learning food is fuel. When its not being used as fuel, Im learning to stop asking why. Just say no.

Back to the basics. Go to bed earlier. Set the environment up for success. Reach out for support. Write about your journey. Be realistic about life. ...

So..back to the fork in the road. Liken this to a road trip...a map if you will....but its a well known trip. I know where it goes...I know where it can lead....Im familiar with this stretch of road.....and it just becomes about choice. ...the choice to turn towards what is good for me. Im learning that making good choices doesn't always come automatically to ppl. We have to train ourselves. Learn to read the map. Know what is required when we decide to take a trip. Plan for the 'weather'. The 'terrain'. Bring the right stuff with you. ....I am NOT taking the wrong turn. I know where it leads. ....so...back to re-packing:)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • WITCHYWOMAN75
    Marie, it sounds like you have really got this down. I'm so glad I decided to read a few more blogs today to get caught up. I've been on here as long as you and have been learning new things all the time. Mine lately is patients. I want it gone now and it's taking too damn long. It seems I'm always in the learning process.
    1847 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Great blog!! emoticon
    1851 days ago
  • SHORTCAKE48
    Wow! You must have read my mind. I have really been struggling since May. Have actually gained 10 pounds back of the 58 I had lost. Came to the "fork in the road" and decided that yes, it is worth it. I have the same thoughts, this is too hard, I am tired of this. Feel like I have dieted my whole life and I am sick of the whole mess. I also bought some new clothes so do I really want to keep going.

    I decided "yes" I do. Maybe not to where I was when I was in my 20's and 30's. I had to work so hard to stay there, but a good comfortable weight for me. Where I can shop for clothes in the petite department (I am very short) instead of the women's where they assume all big women are 5'8" with long arms and legs (lol).

    I am staying on Sparkpeople and it is blogs like yours that make me realize, I am not in this alone. It may take us a little longer to get there, but we will eventually.

    Thanks for sharing.
    1851 days ago
  • SOOZIEQUE55
    Yes, the fork in the road, the two steps forward, one back. All the thoughts that try to trick us into taking the easy way. It is a true journey and will have plenty of difficult parts and great joys. If it were easy, we'd all be the correct weight and we wouldn't need Spark People or any other support system. Keep up the good fight and we will journey with you. emoticon
    1852 days ago
  • SPEDED2
    It is truly one day at a time...sometimes it's a minute at a time. It's interesting that fear of success, at times, is greater than the fear of failure. This is the place to find the support that leads us to success. emoticon emoticon
    1852 days ago
  • BARCELONAME
    so true!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!!!
    1852 days ago
  • MASTERPIECE8
    Wow! You know yourself well and I'm happy that you shared with us. Keep on Keepin on. It is and will work. Keep sharing. It helps all of us.

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    1852 days ago
  • IOWAGRAMMA
    Good insight, Marie. I feel confident that you will find these little detours educational in the long run, but like all the rest of us...dealing with them in the short term is very hard. FWIW, I had a peanut butter/honey episode a few nights ago. Grrr...but I agree so totally with you, that it is not the WHY of things that I need to focus on, but the "what am I going to do" or the HOW of things. As long as I focus on the how, I seem to do much better. How? Lean on God, plan ahead, prepare ahead, pack it if I need to in order to have what I need, and keep it as simple as possible. You can do it! WE can do it! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1852 days ago
  • SHELLEDEAR
    I totally agree. This journey is a struggle for people like us every day, asking God to give us the strength just makes sense. The struggle is no different than a alcoholic's struggle, or a workaholic, or a any form of overindulgence that comes to mind. Keep trying and make sure the fork in the road you choose isn't laden down with mashed potatoes.
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    1852 days ago
  • ANGIEN9
    Sounds like you figured out which fork in the road to take. Have a good day!
    1852 days ago
  • MGSPARKLADY
    Very insightful :) Keep up the good work, you know it will make you happier in the long run! Enjoy your day! Sara
    1852 days ago
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