From the mind of madness...
Monday, July 27, 2015
So...I am on SP at least once a day. I get my daily emails and read the blogs and the stories that I have not read before.
I don't always post, but sometimes do...for the most part I just read and it keeps me going to know I am not alone in my day to day struggles.
Then every once in awhile I feel like I want to share something, and so I do.
Today it is an entry from my fitness journal, which I keep everyday I do fitness.
Here is todays entry entitled 'Revamp' (I have to edit out the swear words but otherwise its word for word what I typed today haha!) (I have a potty mouth, my mother is not proud!)
'I think I have needed this for awhile.
I have made some decisions on my bike ride home today.
I have really felt myself getting frustrated at every big and little thing lately, and I have concluded it's a time issue. I am so tired of always having something to do, whether it be gym, run, kids, phone calls, dinner, laundry, the list goes on and on...I never stop and rarely am I not feeling like I am running late. That feeling is crap and its worn me down.
So...for ***** sake. Here comes my reason for my revamp.
I have been maintaining my weight for 4 years now. Yes, it has gone up 25 pounds in the last 2 years and I am about 75% sure that is muscle from weight training and just becoming more fit from biking and running...underneath this flab on my legs and stomach is solid muscle. I can feel it. I know it's there even if I can't see it. I am wearing the very same clothes/size I wore pre-25 pounds, so I am SURE I am right...well, almost sure :P
I do truly love my fitness and would never stop doing it. I need it and even the days when I feel too wiped out, once I slip my shoes on and head out, my head is in the game, thats it. Having said that, I should not have to bust my a**, and yes, I do bust it as far as I am concerned. Maybe not as much as others do, but I am not them, and I work my a** off 5 days a week, plus my 2 days off I ride my bike to and from work. So...again, I should not have to do this 5 days a week.
If I was completely honest with myself, I would love to be able to just come home on days when I am tired etc, but I know I am not going to stay fit if I do that, so I never will, but I also am going to repeat, I should no longer need to do this 5 days a week.
So, I am removing another day of fitness and going down to four. I know this seems like a big song and dance to just say this is what I am doing, but it is not AT ALL easy for me to do. Somewhere in the depths of my mind there is a little voice telling me the weight will come creeping back on and I need to stop being lazy and just carry on.
Here's my revamp.
I am going to keep doing what I do on Saturday and Sunday, which are my two days I work the hardest. It's Monday thats changing. I am not going to do my big run on Monday's anymore. I will just bike to and from work and do yoga that day. I think this is a nice way to round off from the Saturday (big bike ride plus 5K run) and Sunday (spin class and strength training plus extra cardio) fitness. I know this is not completely giving up another day, but it is a BIG DEAL TO ME. So...I am going to move my big run to Tuesday, which removes my other bike ride day, but I can always do a bike ride on one of the other 'inset' days if I feel like it, which more often then not, I most likely will. I also think it will benefit my run because I put my legs through A HE!! OF A LOT on Saturday and Sunday so by Monday, they are wrecked. Time will tell if it will help with my run. And then that leaves Wednesday to remain the same with my 2nd strength training day.
I think this will work for me. 2 days on with a nice easy Monday, 2 more days on with 2 days off.
I will also rethink my eating habits to coincide with my new lazy a** fitness week ;)
Today is my first Monday for as long as I can remember that I did not do a run after work....I gotta say I thought the guilt would set in, but it feels good. I need a change. I need to slow down and not feel like I always have to be doing something so that I can get done the things I put off etc.
Wish me luck...'
That is my entry in my journal. As I said, I know its a bit of a song and dance, but for my first year of fitness when I was losing my final pounds, I was doing 6 days and it was a huge struggle to go down to 5 days once I started maintaining 4 years ago, and I have been struggling with going to 4 days for a year!
I needed this change though, so I only see it being a positive in my life :) Time will tell.