How will I know when I am at my happy weight?
Thursday, August 13, 2015
Having been obese all my life, I'm not sure I will know. Right now I weigh what I weighed when I was in the 9th grade and I am currently 62 years old. I haven't been at this weight for well over 40 years.
I am at that funny place where I am between clothing sizes and I have no idea what size I would really wear. I also have baggy skin and flabby muscles that don't allow me the same shape I had when I was this weight in my youth. Some of that is changing with exercise, but I know I will never be 16 years old again, thank God!
I am not where I want to be, I know that, but I also know that I am a long way from where I started. My blood sugar is now in the normal range and I am off many of the medications I was on. I am more physically active than I have been in many years and it is easier and more comfortable to move, to walk, stoop, kneel, bend and stretch. I can be on my feet longer and finish projects in one fell swoop that used to take days of effort and recuperation.
Being obese has been the norm for me for so long I can't imaging merely being overweight. Yet, I know that I am already happier with how I feel and what I can do than I was even last year- 25 pounds ago. I was happier last year than I was five years ago when I weighed 54 pounds more than that. I was happier five years ago than I was when I was at my all time high weight 103 pounds ago. According to the weight charts I have 70 pounds left before I reach the high end of normal. But I have a good friend who reminds me, normal is just a cycle on a washing machine.
I don't know if I will get down to some magical chart number, but I know I won't wait for that number to be happy with myself. I choose to live happily now, grateful for who I am, what I can do and where I am here and now. I am not at my goal weight. I am not at my final weight. But I am at a happy weight now.