Hi SparkFriends! First, I feel so bad about not being as active on here as I used to be. I absolutely LOVE SP but sometimes it can be SO time-consuming! I definitely stay busy and don't always have time to reply to blog post comments, send goodies, upload pics, etc. so I've just been avoiding it altogether and letting the notifications pile up in my email in-box. BUT, I realize that being active on SP is SO helpful to my weight loss journey, so I'm recommitting myself to it today! I've been talking with my husband a lot recently about being more selfish on this weight-loss journey (in a good way, i.e. asking for help making time for myself), and one of those ways is for me to take a little time out of each day (or as much as I can) to log into SP and reconnect with old SparkFriends, read others' blog posts, post updates of my own, and generally beef up my motivation again. So here I am!
First of all, I mentioned before that I've been on Weight Watchers since March 28, 2015. I decided to join because:
1. I've put on about 30 more lbs since January 2013 when I decided to stay home full time with my son. (I already had about 30 to lose.) YIKES. I've tried several times to lose the weight on my own, but obviously, I've had to admit that I can't do this on my own.
2. I need help. I need guidance. I need a plan, and one that actually works for me. No more "30-day ab challenges" or "strictly Paleo for 3 months" or any other crazy thing I've been trying.
3. I have a very good friend who's been incredibly successful on WW and has lost about 50 lbs so far. It's taken her about a year, but she was always overweight and it's been amazing to see her journey. I wanted the same for myself.
4. I have a really bad binge-eating, sugar addiction problem and I was hoping WW could help me curb this. (It has, somewhat...)
Here's what I looked like the day I attended my first Weight Watchers meeting this spring and weighed in at 172.8 lbs:
So now I attend weekly meetings on Saturday mornings, I count PointsPlus instead of calories, and I earn activity Points for working out. I regularly wear my FitBit and track everything on the WW app. It works great. It's easy. You just have to stick with the program.
I've been good at this, sometimes. I really did a GREAT job in the first few weeks, but have really been off and on the plan a LOT recently. It's so discouraging to walk into a meeting knowing that you've gained and see that little +3.3 written on your weight log card. Every Saturday is a new chance to start over again, but I've been finding myself losing and gaining the same several pounds for most of the summer now.
Here's my progress so far. I took these pics yesterday. Not a noticeable, visible difference, but I at least know my legs are stronger from all the running I've been doing!
I know exactly what my problem is. I sabotage myself! I get in my own way. I buy trigger food - snacks loaded with sugar (cookies, gummy worms, chewy granola bars, candy, even Teddy Grahams) that I tell myself in the store I can resist. They're for my husband and son, so I will avoid them. I can portion. I can fit it into my plan. I can keep it on a top shelf. But the truth is, I eventually eat it, sometimes even that same day that I bought it. And I eat ALL of it. Definitely binge-eating at its finest. Ugh...
I also let slip-ups be an excuse to just quit tracking food altogether. I know I've probably already gained for the week, so a gain is a gain no matter how many pounds, right? Wrong. It's all mental, and I'm realizing its my way of "letting myself" get away with eating crap food. Quite simply put, it's easier to just give in and eat what you want than to put forth the effort to plan your meal, figure up your total PointsPlus value, log it in the app, and do the extra exercise I might need to compensate for the additional PP I just ate. And so I take the easy route, and continue to do so all week long. And then I step on the scale Saturday morning and beat myself up. Sigh. But I usually work really hard the next week and lose a little bit. But then I feel like I can "cheat a little" the next week because of the loss, and the cycle repeats itself.
I've been spinning my wheels like this for the past three months or so. I have all the tools and support I need to accomplish my goals and get into habits and a mindset that will have me continually losing each week, but I need to really dig deep and put forth 100% effort, not 100% for a few days and then 25% the rest of the week. When I stick to the plan, eat lots of fruits and veggies (zero PointsPlus!), get plenty of exercise in and accumulate Activity Points, log my food religiously, and don't have any sweets or trigger food in the house, I ALWAYS LOSE WEIGHT that week. (Funny how that works, right?!) :) It's so obvious. I just need to quit sabotaging myself and getting in my own way. I need to say goodbye to those foods and habits from the past that have tripped me up for so many years. I need to be consistent, unwavering, and STRONG. I also need to share my feelings, connect with others, help encourage people in my same situation and receive some encouragement back, and track my progress on this journey beyond a number in a log. That's why I'm back on SP blogging today and hopefully being more committed to being here with this great group of people more often.
So there ya go. That's what's up with me! I'll be blogging more regularly again, I promise. Thanks in advance for anyone who reads this. Please let me know if you've been in my situation before (the yo-yo, back and forth, spinning your wheels) and how you ultimately broke free from that. I'd absolutely love any advice you may have!
Thanks, SparkFriends! :)