I'm going to be real! The truth!
Saturday, September 12, 2015
For the past 7 months I have struggled. I would do good a few days and fall off. I would try so hard but I wasn't trying hard enough. The harder I fought and failed the more depressed I became. I easily gained back 25 pounds of the nearly 70 I had lost.
There is the truth that I have avoided putting here for everyone to see. I was ashamed of that gain. Embarrassed. I was suppose to be an inspiration not a failure.
I even changed my weight loss ticker so people couldn't see my gain. I felt as if I put it out for all the world to see I would show my failure. I would be vulnerable and open to ridicule. :(
Something clicked in my brain at the end of August. I knew I could do it again.l I had done it once so i could be strong and do it again. I did good for a week still fighting the depression that had forced me to an all time low in my life. Stress from my marriage, my children and of course my failure had me at my breaking point.
On August 31 I began again. Renewed. I haven't been depressed and I have lost 11 of those pounds.
So there it is. My gain. My truth. I battle depression. But when I'm healthy and loosing I feel like I'm on top of it.
The truth isn't always pretty but it's my truth!