11-19-15 (day 18)
Thursday, November 19, 2015
Well just got back from the doctor. My husband LOVES my doctor! Doc is a funny guy, very personable. My hubby feels better now. Long story short...ha a 15 minute appointment turned into more than an hour and half appointment...I get 6 months again!!!! WHOO HOOO!
What a relief! He ALMOST changed it to sooner, not because of something I did wrong but because he's messing with my meds. Trying to keep me from going to specialists. Because he is messing with a medication I am to take today off! He wants to see how I do without straining myself too much. Tomorrow though, I should be good to go.
The mammogram results were discussed and he told us basically not to worry. If it changes in 6 months they will be more aggressive. He talked a lot but that is the jist of it. He did notice I was annoyingly calm about it. He joked a lot. It put my hubby at more ease than he was. He explained it all to him. So it is in God's hands.
All in all doc was happy for me and proud of me. I am doing well except my kidneys. To which he changed some meds around to see if that would help. I am so grateful for that because I am not a fan of the nephrologist t I have had to see. I voiced that to my doctor today again. He just says, yeah he's got an interesting personality. I told him to find me a different nephrologist.
So I guess I got doctors orders to relax today. I wont know what to do with myself!
OH! and Thanksgiving! I called my mom to let her know we are having it at her place in case she was left out of the loop. She wanted it at her place. She said she knew but she and my dad are cooking. I was really thrown off by that since she told me I was cooking if it was at their house. My family isn't the typical family. My mom nor dad has EVER cooked that meal. I always have or we went to other people's house, they never celebrated that day or some other holidays. So this was a bizarre thing for them to do. EVERYONE has an eyebrow up at this. Mom did tell me she lied and through ME under the bus to my brother to get her way. So I am chalking them cooking up to her proving she didn't or isn't doing something hypocritical. OR she's mad at my brother and is going to pull something on him and his wife. I feel and smell an ambush by her coming that day. I JUST WANT EVERYONE TO BE GENUINELY HAPPY! I am not happy she put me in the middle and I told her that. I also told her it wasn't necessary. If she had her feelings hurt by my brother she should have told him that instead of making up a lie and using my name to manipulate things to get her way. That isn't right. I confronted her. She knows but doesn't get she did something to disrupt my brother and my relationship. I will have to talk to my brother sometime while I am there, maybe toward the end of the trip, to let him know I never said or thought the things mom told him and his wife. I now look like the bad guy, she gave my brother and his wife a reason to side eye me and resent me, and I was trying to not be involved at all. Mom asked me if my feeling were hurt, I said I didn't think they were hurt by me not cooking, just shocked. Truth is I do feel a little lost in bizarro land. And I don't understand why she did that to me. I now feel incredibly awkward going there. She just isn't making sense about things. BIG RED FLAGS are up. I want mom happy and dad happy and the rest of my family happy too! I got mad yesterday a little later in the day about this because it just bothered me she lied about me and used my name. I ALMOST went and got a milkshake. BUT I RESISTED!!!!!! I am glad i resisted. But I am still irked. I am trying to let it go. Hopefully by the time I get there I will be ok. I will bite my tongue either way. And deal with it discreetly so the trip isn't disrupted. I did ask her why because it is so out of the ordinary and weird. She didn't really give me an answer. She danced around it trying to not talk about it. She is acting not herself and it is weird. I guess observation mode will be what mode I will be in while I am there. I will be ok as long as they all don't start telling me what a bad person I am and how I fail at everything. They have a tendency to do that to me. Not cool. If they do that then I am heading home early. I just got a gut feeling something is going to happen and it wont be good. I know I am a good person, not a failure. I may not succeed at many things but I am not a failure. I don't deserve to be put down. I bring this up because I sense red flags.
I need to let this go. I am very uptight thinking about it. Ok, doc said relax. SO deep breathing and stretching I will do today. That should help.