LITTLESPARKLER

SparkPoints
 

Days 13, 14, 15: A struggle, a success, and a fall

Saturday, January 16, 2016

The last few days can be summed up as: I tried, I did the best I could, and I don't regret anything. ;)

Day 13: Stress level was high. I had doctor appointments that were out of town and took much longer than expected. So, I wasn't prepared. The appointment itself was stressful as the doctor was nervous and not "smooth" when she told me that I would need further testing on a lump in my breast. After talking to another doctor, I felt much more relief and I think this initial doctor just didn't have a good delivery. The tumor was labeled 4 on the suspicion level (of 0-6). I made it home with no issue and had good, safe, healthy food.

Day 14: Higher stress because I had my biopsy in the morning. The doctor reassured me that it was "probably nothing", but I still left the office feeling like I "deserved" a treat. There is a store across from the office that has amazing bulk chocolate milk balls that I always "treat" myself to when I'm shopping there. I drove to the parking lot, pulled into a space, told myself that I needed to go in there and shop anyway... Then, I realized that if I was going to break W30, it was NOT going to be for emotional eating. And, it was NOT going to be sugar. And, I realized I really wasn't that stressed out (the doctor had made me feel comfortable and at ease with the likelihood of it being benign), I was looking for an excuse to eat. I did, though, go to Chipotle for a steak salad (W30 compliant and very filling). I counted that as perfect success. One thing that made this day hard was that, due to the biopsy cut, I couldn't run, which would normally be my go-to stress reliever (other than food).

Day 15: Since the doctor said I might get results back this day, the stress had kicked back in. Also, we had no food in the house because I had pulled out of the store parking lot to avoid the chocolate balls the day before. I was hungry. We live in a small town, so getting groceries is no easy feat. I ate green beans for breakfast (delicious and satisfying, but I obviously needed protein to go with it). By lunch, I really wanted food and I really didn't want to go into town. And, I really wanted pizza. I decided that my sister was coming that night and I'd be breaking W30 with drinking, so I was just going to have the pizza. I made it, ate a piece, got disgusted, and stopped. I had brussel sprouts instead (notice, still lacking protein - tsk, tsk). At night, we went to a volleyball game and everyone went for pizza. This time, it was good pizza at my favorite place. So, I ate it. Plenty of it. I don't regret a bite. I tried to be as healthy as I could with pizza - whole wheat (if that even matters), thin crust, 1/2 amount of cheese. I had a salad and took off all the croutons. I passed on the bread sticks (the best damn bread sticks in town) and the toasted ravioli (oooohhhh, that was hard!). No beer, but I did have diet soda, which I didn't even think about being wrong until just this very second.

So, here I am on Day 16. I'm not throwing W30 out the window. I really like the way this eating has started getting my sleep on track and has really cleared up my skin. My energy levels are peak right now. I don't miss any particular category of food (sugar, wheat, dairy), but I do miss not being able to eat particular things (pizza, cheese/crackers, chocolate malted milk balls, wine and martinis). I'm going to finish up the rest of the month the best I can without being too concerned, with the exception of drinking this weekend with my sister. I'm not going to worry about little diversions from the program. I will not, though do sugar. I feel like the exclusion of sugar (and possibly white bread, since it has the same effect) is what is making the improvements in my overall body functioning.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GEE-KNEE
    I didn't know you were going through all this. You've always been a very strong and admirable person. I love you Carrie.
    1646 days ago
  • SLIMMERJESSE
    Wow, that's a lot of stress and, yes, I'd enjoy eating during this time as well. I realize that isn't a SP type of thing to say, but I'm realistic. Wishing you good outcomes of your biopsy.
    1670 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by LITTLESPARKLER