I AM SO, SO SAD FOR KEEP BEING CODEPENDENTLY SICK WITH MY MOM
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
I had been very happy and active with SparkPeople and sparking around every day. I know for sure that if I keep coming back to Sparkpeople sanity and health will stay with me always. So I come to my page and interact with my sparks friends everyday. I am as healthy asI had never before.
Tonight is different and I feel very sad. Today is Tuesday, wateraerobics day which I couldn't join today cause of my injured knee, but still I take my mom to the YMCA and pick her up after class so she can continue with her exercises. Well this afternoon was not different, except that I took my mom on several errands she had to run. She was looking for a medicinal plant for my sister to treat her asthma. While driving to the several places we had to, she told me, three times, that as I was using a drug I was driving with not care, which it is not true at all.
As most of you might know I fell down on December and I broke three of my toes which I am still recovering and my knee got really injure, but thank God it is not broken. Is very painful to walk so I am avoiding it as much as possible while waiting for therapy to be approved by my insurance. To make a long story short I visited a health food store, last week, to get something for the pain and the inflammation and they recommend me the commercial cannabis oil to take by mouth twice a day and to used it as a rub in my knee at night time. Sadly, I was with my mother. She had been arguing that cannabis is a drug "no matter what" and I will end up a drug addict. So today she was telling me that I was been careless while driving "because of that drug you are using".
She told me that I was a dumb if I believed that cannabis oil was medicinal, and she kept telling me how dumb had I turn to be, lately. That was so painful to hear. She was breaking my heart every time she told me that same thing over and over. I was so confused and so in pain, that I came home, took the three drops I had been prescribed and I told my husband to come with me while I drove around and ask him to see if I was careless while driving after taking the three drops of cannabis oil. He assured me that I drove as usual and very careful and that he does not notice anything different in me, that I was acting the same before and after the 3 drops of cannabis oil. Then I drove to my sister's house and explain her what had happen and ask her to be sincere and tell me if she was noticing anything wrong or rare in me and she laughs at me and she explained me that the only diference she was noticing was that I was giving credit to our mom and that I was so in pain and so upset. So I came home and email my daughter that is a doctor and explain everything about the situation and she told me that cannabis is been used to treat cancer and pain and that not give any credit to my mom that commercial cannabis does not make drug addicts. But still I feel upset and unhappy. So I am coming to you all my sparklers friends to see if some of you can give me any light and support in this situation cause I feel so upset and in pain that I feel like going to Walgreen's and get a chocolate kisses bag and eat the whole thing as I used to, just to numb the emotional pain I am feeling now. I felt so degraded and so humiliated by my mom and at the same time so powerless, in front of her, that I was not able to make myself to ask for some consideration and respect from her side. None of my brothers or sister will do for her or with her, what I am doing weekly, while feeling verbally abused by her. I am really in a lot of emotional pain right now.
Please comment and give me your perspective and support, please. Thank you for your time and support your spark friend, Carmen