Still Thin in my Head
Monday, February 01, 2016
So. Five years ago this month, I weighed the lowest I have in adulthood: 182 lbs. I think that lasted about a week, but for a long time I was in the 185-190 range. For years. I know that's still heavy, but I'm tall and I was fit. I loved my body. It was strong, it could run, it had curves, and I felt great.
I truly cannot believe it's been five years. I'm still that person in my head....I still get a little shock when I realize how long ago that's been.
This past year has been the worst for me weight-wise in a very long time. There are lots of reasons...injury, stress, poor habits...you name it. But the bottom line is I'm heavier than I have been in a very, very long time. And I'm terrified. Sad. Disappointed.
I'm 224 lbs today. But it's less about a number (because we all have numbers, right, and my 187 might have been someone else's nightmare, even though it was/is my dream) than it is about the journey. My journey has hit a bit hole. I'm struggling..
I know exactly what to do. I know what works for me and what has been successful in the past. I'm an intelligent woman, well-read, and I know all the data. I know what my body responds to. I see my doctor regularly, I've worked with a nutritionist. It all works. When I do it consistently. And it's that consistency I struggle with....day after day after day.
Today is a good day. After weeks (months?) of trying to get back to SP, I'm back. My meal planning and decision making has been good. My exercise is in line. Today is a good day.