Still Thin in my Head

Monday, February 01, 2016

So. Five years ago this month, I weighed the lowest I have in adulthood: 182 lbs. I think that lasted about a week, but for a long time I was in the 185-190 range. For years. I know that's still heavy, but I'm tall and I was fit. I loved my body. It was strong, it could run, it had curves, and I felt great.

I truly cannot believe it's been five years. I'm still that person in my head....I still get a little shock when I realize how long ago that's been.

This past year has been the worst for me weight-wise in a very long time. There are lots of reasons...injury, stress, poor name it. But the bottom line is I'm heavier than I have been in a very, very long time. And I'm terrified. Sad. Disappointed.

I'm 224 lbs today. But it's less about a number (because we all have numbers, right, and my 187 might have been someone else's nightmare, even though it was/is my dream) than it is about the journey. My journey has hit a bit hole. I'm struggling..

I know exactly what to do. I know what works for me and what has been successful in the past. I'm an intelligent woman, well-read, and I know all the data. I know what my body responds to. I see my doctor regularly, I've worked with a nutritionist. It all works. When I do it consistently. And it's that consistency I struggle after day after day.

Today is a good day. After weeks (months?) of trying to get back to SP, I'm back. My meal planning and decision making has been good. My exercise is in line. Today is a good day.

~ Kim
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Awesome that you are back. You can do this!
    1733 days ago
    You're on the right track. Keep on pushing!!
    1733 days ago
    I can identify with your struggle. After my second child and some yo yo diet I found the right formula and regardless it still is a struggle. I have learned to take it one day at a time and to make very tasty meals to satisfy my appetite. Welcome.
    1733 days ago
    You can do this!
    1733 days ago
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    1733 days ago
    ... before my wedding (in October). I know how to do it. I got back down to 140lbs 7 or 8 years ago. And then gained everything plus. Ugh. I just enjoyed reading this because I totally relate. Best wishes!
    1733 days ago
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    Hi Kim, the first step (day) is the hardest. Take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself. You will reach your goals!!!
    1733 days ago
    This. So much this. I used to have eating disorders, so I am too aware that I am far away from my skinniest. But, it's hard to believe I ever got to 140 (let alone 192- my biggest ever). I have been doing a horrible job with consistency since...
    1733 days ago
    I'm in a similar spot.My lowest was 165 prior to my wedding 14 years ago.I have all sorts of excuses as to why I've put on so much weight~nursing school,grad school,pregnancy,husbands job loss &injuries, but reality is I need to get my butt in gear!
    1733 days ago
    Congrats on finding your way back, good luck to you.
    1733 days ago
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