Thursday, February 11, 2016
And I shouldn't.
I actually ate breakfast, and then I had a fairly "large" snack (ok, in reality, I know it was minor), and I just ate dinner. I was craving something sweet. My life coach (for lack of a better word) has many of the food allergies that I have and she is determined to create a recipe that I can tolerate. She made these carob/peanut butter/raisin/some sugar/coconut oil/rice flour/hazelnut bars/brownies, what have you. I was really scared to try it because I didn't know how it would cause cravings for me. She said they weren't the best, but a work in progress. I ended up having about 5 bites and now I feel incredibly guilty. They were dry, as she said, but they did have good flavor! She's going to experiment with them some more, but now I feel bad about eating something extra, already when I had a larger snack than what I normally do. Granted, it's normally a rice cake with some peanut butter, but on top of that, I had 2 celery stalks with peanut butter. Like that's NOTHING, so I shouldn't feel bad. And sometimes I even have a rice cake with peanut butter after dinner if I'm still hungry. That bar/brownie thing is comparable to that! I should be fine!
I am just so determined to get back to my lowest weight. I know my eating habits have been quite "restrictive" recently. I'm not limiting myself on what I eat, just when/how much I eat. I know it's working and I know it's a lifestyle I can maintain - but it's all I think about.
I just have to take it day by day. I feel like I should workout extra hard tomorrow, that I should eat really well, etc - but in the end, I know that doesn't make a difference, a "good" day can't correct a "bad" day. This is the reason I'm only weighing myself once a month, to not get caught up in how the "bad" days affect me.
But that's that. It's ok. I didn't splurge, I didn't binge, I didn't go all out and eat in excess, I'm just living. That's what matters.