Being Let Go

Sunday, February 21, 2016

In times of war in my life, I always pray that He would give me the strength to let go. But as my dear sister pointed out; if that has been my pray, I've already let go. Then she said that maybe my prayer should be for ME to be the one that is let go of. That was deep but not just that, I had just spoken those words right before I received the message! I pray for results and I pray for acceptance and I also-in this case- pray to let go. That has been a vicious cycle in my life for almost 13 years now. I wondered just how many times I have to be shown WHY to let go. How many times will I turn to food. How many times will I lose weight because of stress in my life only to gain it back once I feel "happy" again. There are so many things that I need to let go of, but in this case and seems like it always has been I AM the one who needs to be set free. I received a word yesterday that I know was for me because I already believed it so I guess it was more like a confirmation. However; it really wasn't FOR me, but someone with me. Many times I've wanted to speak THAT same word, but thought it would fall on deaf ears and a closed heart. I don't know the effect it had yesterday, but I know my heart and it never changes no matter how many times I am shown I should give up. To some and myself that's insane and all I can do in these times is ask for strength to let go INSTEAD of actually doing it. But this time, my prayers are different. I still want to let go and be able to accept the outcome without losing my mind or any part of Me. But I also just want to be freed from the bondage and stronghold that people and things have over me. I think I am ready. I feel like I can accept it and move on. Moreover I truly feel it is time and if I let go & vice versa, I will receive blessings I cannot contain for me and my children!!! And ohhh what a day that will be!! Who wouldn't want that kind of redemption!?!? Until I feel that clutch unhand me, I'm going to strive more now than ever to walk by faith and not by site and believe that my freedom is coming soon and very soon
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