So. ...I'll be honest..

Friday, April 01, 2016

I'm lazy, I'm incredibly lazy. BUT I am working on that because today I took a step back around 3am and thought to myself... emoticon am I really going to work out when I get up tomorrow or am I instead going to putz around the apartment and make the cauliflower pizza. I've been planning on making ALL WEEK...let's just be honest for a second ...... I'm not going to go to the gym so instead I took the next 40 min and power walked around my clinic emoticon and then did the daily butt buster exercise on SP. So BOOM work out already in for Friday (granted I missed Thursday but it was a disaster of a day) now to get in 4 more cups of water emoticon and I can log it on my team page emoticon

So I'm going to take another step back and realize a few things, I'm not alone...its easy to feel alone working overnights and also working at a place where I totally feel out of my league, HOWEVER these past two days I found out I have an AMAZING support network. When I have a case coming that I'm like uhhhhh..... emoticon I found out my classmates that I graduated with I can call, text, send smoke signals and THEY GET BACK TO ME! I had a crazy intense case and I was totally over my head but my friend who lives a few states away called me and we talked it out and I realized 2 things: 1) I actually did know what I was doing and I just need to believe in myself (goal number something in therapy) and 2) I do have people I can turn to even if its 2am or later, having that realization has almost completely changed me. I'm much happier (I still get overwhelmed when 5 ERs show up at once and everyone is breathing down my back wanting answers and trying to pull me in 5 different directions or when the techs whisper behind my back and don't think I hear them, the day time techs can be very mean and judgemental) BUT...... I don't really know how to express it with words but I realized I'm happier.....Don't get me wrong I still have leaps and bounds to go but I'm in a much better place than I was even 2 weeks ago. Also making a friend at work really helped too, even if she is the cause of my paddle board injuries emoticon (we laughed about it tonight).

Now to finish my water have 26 more oz to go emoticon
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