Pride and fat pants
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Well hello. Long time no see!
What have I been up to?
I took care of my baby.
Lost all my pregnancy weight.
Went back to work.
Quit my job.
Took care of my baby some more.
Gained all my pregnancy weight plus a little extra.
Good, good, bad, good, good, bad.
What brought me back?
1) my dad is on spark people (ADORABLE!). I don't think he has a page or blog, he just tracks. But he's been texting me his progress! I'm proud of him, and it reminded me how proud I was of myself and how well I'd done in the past. I can do this again!
2) I'm tired of being the heaviest I've ever been and feeling out of shape.
3). *should probably be #1* Yes I want to do this for me, but also for my daughter. I want to be able to model healthy eating habits for her, so she can be healthy. I also want to BE healthy, for as long as possible, so I can be here for her.
4) I bought some fat pants!
That probably sounds not exciting but let me explain:
For MONTHS, I've been sitting around the house with my baby (or crawling around on the floor). Gaining weight, too. During all that? I've been wearing yoga pants (hilarious side note - I was looking at some of my old blogs, nostalgia!, and saw one where I referred to how I would never wear yoga pants in public bc they're "the pants of giving up"... LOL. I've been given up for months apparently!). Yoga pants are great, because they are comfy, but 1) they show alllllllll your rolls, and 2) they are so loose they don't provide any pressure on the tummy.
This is a bad thing. I did not realize how flabby and sloppy they made me feel until I went out and bought a pair of jeans that fit! (I have a pair that fit they just were uncomfortably tight.) You would think having to re-buy a bigger size would be a negative thing and make me want to lose weight. But for me it's been a positive thing that helps me feel GOOD about starting again. I don't know how to describe it... I've been calling them my "real person pants" to the husband all week. They're not tight, but they put just enough pressure on my tummy to remind me to suck it and work those abs. I look better in them. I feel like a grownup who has a life and leaves the house instead of a slob in pajamas all day.
I'm proud of my new pants, bigger size and all. I'm proud of my new motivation- I feel like I'm doing this again because I WANT to rather than bc I HAVE to or should. I'm proud of my dad (GO DAD!!). And I'm proud of my progress so far. It feels good to be back, rather than like a drag or a punishment.
Misc other stuff: Miss Baby is THE BEST. I am grateful to have had this time home with her. It's worth having to work hard to lose weight again; I'd rather work to lose weight gained while staying home with her than any other type of... difficult thing. She's such a happy, laid back kid. We are very lucky.
Turtle Puppy is also good. She is a little jealous of the baby, and does not love her so much now that she can crawl and would like handfuls of fur, so I have to watch them closely. (Attached: rare moment of her not hating the baby. She is trying to lick her. LOL and also gross.) But she's still a very loving dog to Mr. Turtle and I.
Mr. Turtle is good too. :)
Honestly? *I'M* good. I know a lot of times these blogs are like "I'm back after a long time away and I've gained weight and I'm miserable" but truly? I'm very happy. Yes I'd enjoy being smaller - I think I would feel better physically and I would like the way I look and feel in clothes better. So here I am. But I'm not miserable. Just making a change.
It's a good way to be. :)