Hitting Restart After Depression and Giving Up
Monday, April 18, 2016
It hurts my heart to admit that I had done so well with my weight loss, only to gain all but one pound back. It's a difficult thing to admit, espeically since I had lost about 70 pounds. It feels like a punch in the gut, like everyone looks at me and thinks, "wow, she just gave up". That statement is partially true. I did sort of just give up, but not like most might think. The weight gain wasn't all from eating poorly, but a good amount of it is. The weight gain was a combination of two things: Medication and giving up.
I had maintained the majority of my weight loss for years. It was actually quite simple too! Unfortunately, I found myself one day right smack in the middle of depression, and despite all of my hard work and effort, I just couldn't shake it. Since I knew I was getting worse, I decided that my best option was medication. It worked, and I soon was acting and feeling like the girl I used to be. However, that was only the truth for my feelings, not my appearance. I ended up gaining 30+ pounds while on the medication. Soon the tears I cried from feeling sad towards life, were now tears toward my body and how much I gained. I thought that maybe, just maybe, once I quit the mediation, the weight would just fall off and I find myself back in my old wardrobe and happy again. Well, that didn't happen. Instead, I swear I gained even more weight! Before I knew it I was 50 pounds heavier. I tried almost everything to lose the weight. Counting calories and exercise (the method I used to lose the previous 70 pounds), following a diet plan though a weight loss video, Nutrisystem, a restriction diet to see if I had a food allergy, you name it I might have tried it. Nothing, and I repeat, nothing really helped. With counting calories and exercise, I did that for 6 weeks one time, while regularly exercising, and lost not a single pound. Talk about discouragement. I managed to loss 10 pounds while following Nutrisystem, but that took 3 months! After all these setbacks, I say to myself, "you might as well eat what you want, because you're obviously not going to lose, enjoy yourself!". I did, and I gained and gained.
So what changed? Well, I was looking through my newsfeed on FB and ran across someone I knew that had lost weight. I sent her a message inquiring as to what was she doing, and she told me about TSFL (Take Shape For Life). Both her and her sister-in-law and managed to loss a decent amount of weight and I thought, what the heck, I'll give it try for one month and see what happens. I received my first month's supply and said that I would give it an entire month, with no cheating, to see if it helps. I had low expectations because everything else failed. Imagine my surprise to be down 10 pounds the first week! I have constantly lost every week since then, with the exception of this one, thanks to TOM, but I'm already down 23 pounds in 2 months. It feels FANTASTIC and I feel joy and happiness again.
So, I'm back at this weight loss thing once again. Finally. I'm exciting for the future once again and happy to be "home" on Spark.