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a long blog about dealing with my mom who is not dealing with her life!

Thursday, May 05, 2016

Today my blog is about how I spent my day yesterday.
I stopped by to visit my mom and see if she needed to send for anything from the store while I went to the walking track.
She told me about how Life alert people had been calling and were able to talk her into buying a device to put in her home, and they charged her 96 dollars, and was going to cost 49.99 a month.
Now, I am sure life alert is a good thing to have, I am not sure if its really all they show it to be in the commercials.
But, I do know my mom cannot afford that added expense every month and since my brother lives about 50 yards from her door, he could be there in a minute if needed.
And, no matter if she has the life alert or not, we live in a very rural, underserved area when it comes to ambulances or fire, the wait time is long and would be the same.
She had regretted her decision to buy this and called them back to ask that they cancel it, only to be convinced she had agreed to a 2 year contract and was no way to cancel.
So I made a few phone calls and was advised me to write them a certified letter asking that they cancel.
I had to speak to the people at the bank to find out how to prevent this company from being able to charge her account.
Then when I finally came back to her house, they called yet again.
We told them of her desire to cancel and how we were taking action to prevent her from being charged and requested her 96 dollars be refunded.
After being put on hold several times, I think the issue is resolved.
The bank said they will watch her account to see if the money is refunded as said.

Since my dad is no longer around, my mom gets lonely and bored and so these people call and my mom is a talker, she loves to tell everyone her stories and they win her trust.
I told her to just hang up when they call.
Although having worked as a caregiver to the elderly in private duty, I have seen how these people prey on the elderly.
I would field at least 8 calls a day from sales people.
My mom also has taken to ordering stuff from home shopping and info mercials.
My dad was more of a spend thrift.
So without him around to put a halt to it, she just orders items, then regrets her decision and sent many back.
Another thing I have noticed is that her dining room is becoming a small hoard.
Boxes sitting stacked up, she says she will break them down to burn in the wood stove come winter, but I told her, its May.
Set them out for the trash man!!!
She has chairs sitting all around the dining table, so that you cannot even get over into that half of the room. maybe an attempt to keep the little bitty kids from getting to the wat knots??
But the kitchen is becoming cluttered with empty plastic containers.
Even the freezer is full of frozen dinners, she must buy 5 every trip to the store.
My sister and I cleaned the place really well a few months ago and while we didnt get into the closets, etc, we did clean out cabinets.

So, I see this responsiblity falling on me.
I am taking steps to get my mom into the local senior citizens center and see what other local activities, ladies groups, arts and crafts or anything of that nature I can find to get her involved and social.
I am just really glad my mom doesnt have internet or use of a computer, I am sure she would become a victim of scammers.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh my, you are singing my song! My mom, like her mother before her, is susceptible to nice people to talk to- those are salesman. We found her an over 55 apartments. She is 86 and won't go to the Senior center, because only old people go there- LOL She developed an interest in Genealogy, and will spend hours on that! We also give her gift cards to the Dollar Store. I have never met anyone besides her that can spend $100 in the Dollar Store. Unfortunately , my sister is the one who lives the closest. When I go to see her, we tackle the big projects. Her cabinets are full of food, which she doesn't eat. Last time I was there we took 12 big boxes to the food bank.

    I know she gets lonely, and having made friends in the apartment complex seems to have helped her. Some of the residents still drive and they go to lunch and work on making blankets for newborns. It is nice to hear the cheer in her voice. She already has a to do list for my next visit.

    I know when she passes, we will just rent a dumpster and a truck. I wouldn't change it for the world. She is still kicking and enjoying life. If she can live with stacks and stacks- then for now it is OK.

    Didn't mean to vent. Just to let you know that you are not alone in this dilemma Have a great day! emoticon !

    1639 days ago
  • GORDON66
    My father fell prey to a scammer too, and I had to make a series of calls to straighten out the mess. On several occasions, I also had to get the numbers changed on his credit cards. Although he wrote out the checks to pay his bills, my dad wasn't interested in dealing with anything that was remotely challenging. As his only daughter, he became my responsibility. My brothers couldn't be bothered.

    It sounds like your mother is still pretty self-sufficient, so this is the time to set your boundaries. Since your brother lives 50 yards from her door, enlist him to get the boxes and containers out to the trash. By doing it weekly, your mother can't accumulate a lot of stuff, and the job remains very manageable.

    Getting your mom to the senior center is an excellent idea. It will give her something to do, and she can establish some friendships. It's win win. Lastly, take care of yourself!


    1639 days ago
  • no profile photo CD5821225
    I'm sorry that this burden is falling on you with your mom. My mom did similar when she became retired and living on her own. She was introduced to the internet though, and became a bit of an online shopper. She did however stick to her budget thankfully. She bought a lot of things she really did not need. Good thing was she found free games online so she could play her casino type games without spending money in the actual casino, so that was the good thing about her being online.

    Hang in there, you're doing a great thing for your mom. I'm here if you need to vent.

    1639 days ago
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