To say my life isn't completely different..would be a lie. Everything is different.
I am trying to find a new normal.
The last few months have been hell, and are getting worse with time. There is much more to my husbands diagnoses then "you are going to die, eventually". His symptoms are many, and hard for him and I to manage. Many symptoms are mental, and causing him to do/say things that are not okay in any relationship. Holding on and fighting for our marriage is my only hope at this point. And trying to find the right medication for him for those symptoms.
Im trying to set my feelings aside and remember that he is sick and losing his mind. It is hard to do when I still see my handsome, strong husband standing in front of me.
We are going to put our home up for sell this week or next... just cleaning and getting things ready.
I am nervous to move across the US and start all over. Especially because he will no longer have a job and has always been the bread winner.
Anyway, like I say, every thing is changing.
I have actually started working out again, which is shocking. Motivation came out of no where and I am not sure what has changed. I just, cant die. I can't let myself fall apart. I have 4 boys and a husband who need me.
But its not only that, I want to feel beautiful. I haven't in a long time and Im sick of being on the back burner... I guess because I know I will be on the back burner for the rest of my life... and that being fit will be harder when my husband needs more care, and possibly my children (they all have 50% of inheriting his disease/huntingtons disease).
So I ran 5 miles already this week and have done some strength training and hoping to hit the gym again today.
Anyway, thanks for listening