I hate myself.

Every morning as I weigh myself I hate myself. My weight keeps going up. I know I haven't exercised a lot lately or kept track of every calorie, but if you go by what I should be able to eat and maintain my weight, I shouldn't be gaining anything. How do people stay a healthy weight without being obsessed with every calorie and exercising 1.5 hours a day? I don't have the time and energy to do that. I have to be able to work and care for my daughters. I need to start tracking every calorie again. It's so frustrating. I can't eat what normal people eat and look normal. No, for whatever reason if I do that, I keep gaining weight and getting fatter. It fuels so much hatred for myself.