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what we leave on our journey

Tuesday, July 05, 2016

Good and bad things can happen simultaneously!
I havent been here in a few days. On Thursday I wrote about how Honey was getting to go back to work and he did on Friday.
He left about 5 that morning, work hadnt even started yet when they had to call him back outside to tell him his father had died.
I hated to make that phone call, but had to, I knew he would want to be there to see his dad before the coroner came to get him.
Not only was he able to get back in time, but helped them to carry his body out.
He was happy that on Thursday he was able to spend a few hours with his dad, who he had been helping take care of for the last several months.
He would have turned 89 in August, and had been pretty sick for the last few months, but up until about 2 years ago he was still driving. Up until about 2 months ago, he was still walking, with help.
He never lost himself, he never had alzheimers or even dementia really.
The forgetfulness and confusion he had came due to lack of oxygen and protein, because he refused to wear the bipap mask, and for probably the last two weeks he was only taking small bites of food. But he was drinking the shakes.
He really only had two or three full days where he was unable to sit up or control his body functions.
Honey, knowing he would be returning to work, had taken three full days and nights to spend with him last week, only coming home long enough to grab a shower and a plate of food.
The man had 12 children, 11 living.
But it came down to the 3 sons taking turns caring for him in the last weeks.
He wasnt cold before people starting asking who gets this and who gets that and how much does he have.
It saddens me.
What saddened me the most, was the disrespect show by one of his own children immediately following his burial yesterday.
The man and his wife did not allow anyone to smoke in their home, never.
And just as soon as the family returned from the cemetery one son light up a cigarette and said we can smoke in here now.
The other children who smoke chose to go outside as they always had.
What our lives come down to in the end.
Who will respect us in our absence?
Honey went back to work today and I am glad, for one reason, he needed to get back to work to get back on track with bills, etc, but mostly, I was happy that he will be away from all the talk.
Which brother, which sister, which one will get this or that.
It is pitiful.
The one thing the man did and knew he was doing was not leave a will or any deeds to a very very large amount of property.
So, 11 children, their spouses, children, grandchildren, etc, all wondering if they are entitled.
I am glad Honey has stayed out of it, so far he has chosen to just focus on burying his dad and wait to see what is decided.
But that is life.
I dont have much to leave to anyone, but I think it is wise to make a will, to let others know what you want for your arrangements, and burial.
If you have anything of value, a car, a house, even something like guns or jewelry, its wise to make arrangements so there is no doubt and no fighting.
Doesnt mean there wont be, because some might dispute it.
And I am sick again.
Talking to my good friend who is an RN, I was telling her how I have come down with yet another cold, or whatever this is, the second time since the last of May.
She told me to get some ester c, but I havent been anywhere near a store in a week.
She also told me to get my blood checked for total iron binding capacity????
Whatever is going on with me, I dont seem to be able to defend myself again germs or viruses or whatever has taken over my life.
I spent most of the funeral trying to stay away from everyone, seeming antisocial, but just explaining how sick I am.
This has been since Thursday and not feeling any better.
But sick or not, like it or not, rain or not, I have to get out today and get some food in this house and maybe I will feel better taking myself outdoors.
Spending a little time alone in my car, I might be able to find some peace.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GORDON66
    I am very sorry for your loss.

    Weddings and funerals have a way of bringing the worst out of people. Yes, having a will certainly takes a lot of silliness out of the settling the estate. As for the sibling that smoked in the house, shame on him. Clearly, his relationship with his father was not the best.

    Hope you feel better soon. Being sick is not fun.


    1578 days ago
    hugs and prayers to you and yours
    1578 days ago
    Sorry for your loss! I hate the way some families basically plunder after a death. I have set myself aside from this. If I was supposed to have something, it would have been given to me before I died.

    I don't blame you for not jumping into the family drama.

    Just have fond memories of FIL and be there for you hubby!

    1578 days ago
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