I did a post back in May about change. How I was going to get off my ass and make some changes in my life. It's July now and I wish I could say that things are going great but I can't. It f*cking sucks. There I said it. IT F*CKING SUCKS MONKEY BALLS TO CHANGE!
Whew...okay I feel better. Sorry for the language but sometimes you just have to shout out how you feel - public blog or not. Last night I was laying in bed thinking about my life. I am blessed. I love my itty bitty apartment. I love my job. I have a great son and Nugget (his girlfriend), a few good friends and I am lucky to still have my mom in my life. But for me personally life is not so great. I am unhealthy. I have problems with my legs, knees and back. I don't have insurance. I am still working on getting my debt paid off so money is super tight. Like "I would be lucky if I could afford Ramen noodles" kinda tight. And of course my love life is a mess right now. Won't get into details about that but believe me when I say dating sucks in your 40's.
So its real easy to go home and have a pity party for myself. To take my last $5.00 and buy a 20 piece nugget from McDonalds and sit in front of the TV watching "My 600 lb Life" telling myself that at least I'm not that big. And no I am not making that up. Or if I do start making some changes, life seems to get in the way. And when I say "life" I mean excuses. Busy at work. Not feeling well. Didn't sleep well. Can't afford something. Too hot outside. I could go on and on....and believe me I do.
Sometimes we don't have a choice for change. Death, divorce, illness - some things come into our lives and we have no option but to adapt, to survive. So what do we do when we do have a choice? No secret to it - you just have to do it. Forget about planning, talking about it, denying the problem, making excuses - just start. Today.
I have a friend that I met online on a weight loss site called SparkPeople. She lives in Illinois (I am in Michigan) and she came down to visit me a few weeks ago and seeing her really motivated me. She has to go through a lot in the next year health wise and we talked about our next trip together after she recuperates and that lit a fire under my ass at the time wanting to be more healthy. But that fire went out as quickly as it had ignited. And it turns out she did the same thing when she arrived back home. So we decided that enough was enough. We talked about some of the changes we want to make in our lives and we are going to hold each other accountable. Check in daily to keep the motivation going. So now if I slack off, I am not only hurting myself but someone who I care about as well. And it helps that we are working towards a goal - our next trip.
I am writing this not only for myself, but hopefully to inspire anyone out there who may not be happy with their life right now. It doesn't necessarily have to be health issues. Money, love, even letting go of negativity or giving forgiveness to someone. Whatever it is...make a change today. No matter how small or big...its still a step in the right direction to a better future.
If you enjoyed this posting, I do blog called: www.findingsookie.blogsp
- feel free to check it out!