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doing things differently

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

I have a loved family member who is passionate about sugar. I am going to visit family in October and am preparing myself to handle things differently than I have in the past. Every time I have gone home in the past few years I have gotten off track. In thinking about what I could have done differently I realize I could have been more consistent. Sometimes I would say yes to chocolate and sometimes no. So I was sending mixed messages. I have been off sugar for a while now, and love the freedom from cravings that I have now. I don't want to lose that freedom. It will be tough, because it is my mom's 90th birthday and we're having a party for her, with people coming from all over the country. I am sure that said beloved family member will give sweet treats abundantly. It's not the calories of the visit that matter so much. It's that I get off track. Somehow I want to devise a plan to stay serene and loving and present and off sugar. The best thing I have thought of so far is to just not take the first bite. I anticipate this: "Not even a bite of your mother's 90th birthday cake?!!"

Hmmm. Going to need to think of some more strategies...
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Thanks everyone for such supportive comments and advice.
    I'm keeping you all in my pocket when I go!
    1634 days ago
    You've got lots of good advice in the comments, and I agree with all of it. I think if you have a substitute in hand when the cake is going around you can avoid having a piece, if that's what you want to do. It's really about being there with your mom on her special day, not eating cake! You can always tell the sugar-pusher that you may have a piece later, you're just not hungry for cake now and see if that gets them off your case.
    1634 days ago
    I agree that having no sugar at all is often easier than "just one bite". Sometimes people really do think they are doing you a favour, and have a hard time understanding why you are being so stubborn and why one bite would hurt. I find it's easier to have a concrete reason for not even having a single bite, while not making anyone else feel like they shouldn't indulge. For example, "I'm challenging myself to have a no sugar October. I'm doing so well I don't want to ruin it." Or "Sugar doesn't agree with me. I've been sugar free for a while and I feel so much better for it. The cake looks great, but it's not worth feeling bad for!" I agree taking your own no-sugar dessert to celebrate with might be a good idea if that's practical.

    Whatever strategy you decide on, I hope it works, and I hope you have a great trip!
    1634 days ago
    That's a tough situation to be in. Firstly, congratulations to your mom on reaching her 90th, that's a big one!
    Some people can take no for an answer easier than others. I hope that your sugar supplier is one of them. Avoiding that particular trap (the birthday sweets) takes the cooperation of others , for me at least. I hope that you get it! emoticon
    1634 days ago
    What a wonderful celebration Jill, your Mom's 90th birthday, so special.
    A tough one for sure, I came from a family the same as you, so much food and sweets.
    I think you should remember how you feel after you eat sweets now. Don't know about you but when I overdo it I tend to not feel well and takes me a while to get over it. So stop and think before you eat.
    You said you have done it before, said no to sweets, so give it a go, just enjoy your Mom and everyone you love who comes. Maybe go for a walk if it gets too tough.
    You are a tough cookie I saw that picture of you lifting those weights. Take those sweets and emoticon

    emoticon Jackie
    1634 days ago
    I would kindly ask that family member if she would be willing to have at least one option there that isn't full of sugar. Even a fruit tray or finger sandwiches. If you let them know what you are doing and how far you've come, there is a good chance that they would understand and throw in a few healthy treats for all. Good luck and I'm rooting for you!
    1634 days ago
    other emotion. It's food. And it's flat out ridiculous if you are given a hard time over refusing sweets. Another option. Bring a fruit bowl or something and say that you will celebrate with that if necessary but you won't risk your health for nothin
    1634 days ago
    I think it's a look at the big picture. You can point that out. Does NOT having a bite of cake mean your mother means nothing? Her birthday means nothing? Hahahahaha no. It's friggin cake. It's meaningless. Food does NOT equal love, hate, or any othe
    1634 days ago
    It's so difficult sticking to our guns when there are enablers. What a great idea to plan and anticipate scenarios ahead of time. Good luck! You've got this.
    1634 days ago
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