As I work to build on my momentum, weekends are for the moment turning into my time to keep strengthening the reset button I have pushed. I am in the throes of having all my final papers and exams due last week and this coming one for the end of my first semester and have been working full time so I've been out of the house from 730AM - 10PM every day this past week leaving little to no room to exercise. But i'm okay with it for the moment because I want to ease in and build that speed gradually. I keep reminding myself of the mantra my ladies shared with me - Progress Not Perfection and the idea of not rushing to jump back right into where I was when I was at my height - it will be unsustainable and reckless to do that. So I am working to build and build and build.
I went to jog/run up at the elementary school again today and I had an epiphany of sorts while I was out there experiencing the music pulsate through my earbuds and my dog running along side me off leash, out there alone in the world and so at peace with that seclusion and "me" time.
I realized that running is the only lens through which I can examine the homelessness I have been existing in at all times without it. It's like when you put a comforter inside a duvet cover and keep shaking it up and down to get them to align within each other. All running is about is coming back inside your body. And the most peculiar/ exciting part of when I'm in it, is that over and over, music makes sense so differently. I felt all the songs so differently than when I'm just listening to them, motionless, and I felt them reach down through my limbs as my feet slapped the pavement in rhythms. When Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely" came on, I took my hand and moved it back and forth across my stomach to the beat and just felt power surging through the whole center of my being, my spine straighter, my body in fluid motion with the environment around me and I did grapevines along the lines of the cross walk to the jazz sounds. It felt so good and just like home in a way is all I can describe it as.
I was thinking, too, about the parallels to how good it feels when you're at the ocean, and you can't really explain it, just that content feeling that washes over you and it occurred to me that 70% of our bodies themselves are oceans and the natural rhythm of the external world only makes sense because it is internalized in different ways.
All this to say, I'm feeling connected. I'm trying to cultivate my patience and momentum simultaneously - not go off the high dive until I can climb the ladder up there with precision, and just keep making the next right choice and the next right choice. Life is a mix of successes and opportunities - I had a great run this morning for 45 minutes, then a great salad for lunch, but then forgot for a minute what I was doing when I was at the grocery store later and they were giving out slices of pizza as free samples and I took one. But it's okay because I got a brand new yoga mat for my new "yoga loft" in a room in my house that I hadn't been able to purpose or decorate yet, and I got a piece of salmon and steamed some veggies for dinner.
How was you guys' weekends?
salmon and steamed veggies, so easy and delicious!
LOL, trying to sleep on the job.
a little superficial motivation; the holiday dress i'd like to be wearing come December 2017.