Friday, January 06, 2017
I know it seems strange but this blog seems to be where I pour out my heart because it is a safe place.
Firstly I began 2017 at 298 pound. I want to end it at 196 which is 100 pound lighter and works out at 2 pound a week. I am capable of more but I want a realistic target.
I am heart broken a once dynamic vital women passed away on the 5th January. She was the strongest person I have ever met. A real inspiration to everyone. She had a troubled life and for most of it she went through enough problems in her life that would sink lesser mortals. She always patted herself down and carried on no matter what she was hit with and sometimes those hits were actual physical hits. Her mother was an alcoholic and my friend was left to raise her two brothers with little help from her mother. At 15 she got pregnant and had the baby at 16, She was a single mother to that beautiful little girl because the father whom she loved greatly was a loser. When that baby was about 3 my friend moved into the house next door. This is when this young lady came into my life. She worked as well as brought her child up alone, her mother was not a food example but my friend was a wonderful mum to her daughter. When the little girl was about 4 My friend had another daughter, she was the child from hell and many times I would see my friend sitting on the doorstep head in hands because her now toddling child was running riot. Luckily that child was scared of me and so when she saw me she got into her bed and went to sleep. During this time my friend had no help off the state, she worked in a very low paid job and at times did not even have enough money to eat. Although her girls were fed and clothed. My friends mother would still come and beat on my friend and really put her through hell. My friend also look out for her little brothers too. She met another man and he was a charmer who was married, a thing my friend found out too late, the wife of his terrorised my friend. None of this was her doing. She fell pregnant again and had a boy. He was a poorly little boy and failed to thrive, the medical staff thought my friend had Munchhausen by proxy, but this was not so, I know because I constantly gave him biscuits, he loved Sunday roast and was always eating but he still did not thrive he was seriously ill and was hospitalised, even though he was fed by staff and his mother was not allowed with him on her own he still failed to thrive. Then one day as if by magic he changed gained weight and never looked back. They eventually put it down to CFS caused by a viral infection that he had at about 12 months old. Not long after this happened my friend was diagnosed with Cervical cancer, she was 26 she overcame that, not longer after her mother died suddenly, she was riddled with cancer and no-one knew. All through this she was still a single parent, still in a low paid job, she would have been better on benefits. but was determined to support her kids herself, with no help from the absent fathers. She eventually got her exams passed as she took them whilst being a full time mother and working full time and she got a job with the IRS. Her life was on the up and up, she met a man and she was happy, in love supported by a lovely man they got a lovely house together, she went on holidays. They got married and for the first time in her life she was in a great place. She was then diagnosed with cancer and now she is gone, I am bereft. I can not get my head around this why did she have to go through all this and then to pass away just when her life was good.
I know this is probably not the place for this info but I needed a safe place to tell her story, There is nowhere else I can do this because she was a private person and would be mortified if anyone knew these details about her. God speed my love rest easy.