Saturday, April 15, 2017
I have been having a difficult month. I have spent 12 months being fairly successful with this lifestyle change and even reached my major goal on time. 135lbs by 30 years old. But this month I have just been incredibly hungry. I haven't changed the way I eat, and yet it is never enough. So I end up saying yes to foods I never or rarely eat in hopes of feeling satisfied, but it doesn't work. I changed my goals to maintenance to have a higher range, but then I gained 1.5 lbs.
I think the hunger is part of my CFS/M.E. I'm just so fatigued and my brain must figure I need more fuel. It doesn't help that my activity level is also significantly lower when in a flare. I have a doctor's appointment at the end of the month and at this point I'm willing to try just about anything to feel better.
I feel like a failure. I live a very small life due to my health conditions. But at least for the past year I had control over myself, my choices, my weight, now I feel like I don't even have that.