Fear of the Unknown
Friday, June 09, 2017
I probably won't finish writing this. I have a meeting today at 8:30 with the VP over my department. I don't want to go in there a bawling mess, but at the same time, i feel like it may be the only way to genuinely show just how bad it is in here. I work for a lady who simply put, is a bully. She is mean and hateful and she has the tact and mannerisms of a bull. Every single day i am subjected to some sort of disrespect and hatefulness. I am on medication for a heart rythm issue that was supposed to be "cured" but came back after she became my supervisor. I have panic attacks that i have never ever had an issue with. I have profound depression, which i dealt with when i was 16 after a sexual assault. I never ever had depression due to life in general. I deal with crippling pain and every day i sit in my car crying before i get out, square my shoulders and go into the building. I know this isn't normal and i know it isn't healthy. But i see the VP today and i would like to hope for something more, but the other side of me said.sure, whatever. You are just wasting your time. But at least i am talking to someone. It felt good to get it off my shoulders for a few minutes. So now i am at my desk and i have done the best i can do. at least i don't have mascara running down my face. Of course, i say that having never looked in a mirror!