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Fear of the Unknown

Friday, June 09, 2017

I probably won't finish writing this. I have a meeting today at 8:30 with the VP over my department. I don't want to go in there a bawling mess, but at the same time, i feel like it may be the only way to genuinely show just how bad it is in here. I work for a lady who simply put, is a bully. She is mean and hateful and she has the tact and mannerisms of a bull. Every single day i am subjected to some sort of disrespect and hatefulness. I am on medication for a heart rythm issue that was supposed to be "cured" but came back after she became my supervisor. I have panic attacks that i have never ever had an issue with. I have profound depression, which i dealt with when i was 16 after a sexual assault. I never ever had depression due to life in general. I deal with crippling pain and every day i sit in my car crying before i get out, square my shoulders and go into the building. I know this isn't normal and i know it isn't healthy. But i see the VP today and i would like to hope for something more, but the other side of me said.sure, whatever. You are just wasting your time. But at least i am talking to someone. It felt good to get it off my shoulders for a few minutes. So now i am at my desk and i have done the best i can do. at least i don't have mascara running down my face. Of course, i say that having never looked in a mirror!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1108 days ago
    Hey there! thanks for asking. It went ok. I mean, i said my peace. I tried to be as neutral as possible and say it as clear and just the facts. It went well and she asked me what i thought an ideal program would look like, how it would work etc. I enjoyed that very much. Wellness is my passion and i just think this program is currently being a check the box kind of game and nothing really making a difference in anyone's life. She was going to look into my grievance and see what the results were of that. I am hopefully having a conversation with the person over the committee on thursday. I was available today, but i got the impression she didnt want to talk today. So i just have to wait and see what the results are from that. i mostly and above all, just want to work where i am not treated like crap, where i don't actually make myself sick from stress and where i don't have to develop a drinking problem just to stop stressing over it at the end of the day. But it was easy to talk to the VP and it went well. Thank you everyone!
    1115 days ago
  • ANDARI26
    So how did it go?
    1118 days ago
    my grievance was with the director of HR. I work with some women who are quite literally the embodiment of every hateful stereotype about working with a bunch of women you can find. They are deceitful and back stabbing and gossiping, unprofessional and dishonest. I would leave this place in a minute, but i am still hopeful that God will just fix this place, because my patients, the employees i work for and with, are my heart.
    1118 days ago
  • ANDARI26
    Don't let someone else control how you feel. Go in there be factual and professional. You can go cry in your car when it is over. Do you have an avenue with HR that you can take if you don't get any results from VP meeting? Any good co. would not tolerate that type of harassing behavior from an employee. Hang in there babe. Nerves of steal. One of these days she is going to push you to far and your freak flag is going to fly and most bullies can't handle confrontation.
    1118 days ago
    I just said a prayer for you to speak the words needed in just the right manner. I pray your resolve is firm and that your VP is receptive to your talk today.
    1118 days ago
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