JSTETSER
350,000-499,999 SparkPoints 423,479
SparkPoints
 

Me & My Mom @ 95

Sunday, July 02, 2017


Caring for Mom- the good, the bad & The ugly
The Good:
My mom is 95 years young, and still lives in her own home with my brother. She does crafts and loves to color. She reluctantly uses a walker, and gets around well. Glenna loves to eat out, and to visit friends.

The Bad:
My mom has health concerns that are of no real concern to her. She is oblivious to the fact that she could have another fall, and end up in the hospital with a broken hip. There's also the issue of dementia. Getting old is certainly not for cowards, and my Mom is very brave! My brothers & sisters and I are here to support her.

The Ugly
Today was a difficult day with my Mom. She did fine when out with her friend and I. and had my full attention. Later at home, she soiled her pants, everything changed. She has not been allowed to walk down the basement stairs in years, and immediately headed for them. My Mom emotionally is at a preschool level. I'm not sure how long she will be staying in her own home. The decline that I saw today was dramatic. Whatever my mother has to face, we will face it as a family.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IDICEM
    emoticon
    884 days ago
  • 2BDYNAMIC
    Getting older is not an easy thing for sure. It's very heartbreaking to see your Mom decline and be faced with decisions for her safety and well being.
    My Dad passed on nearly ten years ago, my Mother's worst nightmare. She just turned 96, is sharp mentally, but frail and this year finally has gone into an assisted living; was beginning to take falls for one thing.
    Today I turned 71, have chronic neck pain due to ankylosing spondolitis. I think the most difficult thing for me is a sharp decline in energy. In the workplace, prior to retirement, I worked circles around gals half my age, so this is not easy. Am still getting my daily exercise in, as that is crucial.
    Didn't mean to go off on myself, just would like to impress on people to do take God care and don't neglect exercise.
    885 days ago

    Comment edited on: 7/3/2017 6:25:12 PM
  • JANET552
    I'm glad you had a chance to spend a day with your mom but sorry it reminded you of her challenges. I understand how difficult it is as I care for my 92-year-old father. We are lucky to have the opportunity but it is hard.
    885 days ago
  • JSTETSER
    Thanks friends for you thoughtful words on my blog!
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    885 days ago
  • ARTJAC
    emoticon
    885 days ago
  • RKOTTEK
    We have been thru similar events with my inlaws
    emoticon
    885 days ago
  • no profile photo JSEATTLE
    I'm so sorry your day turned south. I caretake my Mom and Aunt and I know what you mean. Tomorrow is another day!
    885 days ago
  • ROCKYCPA
    emoticon emoticon
    885 days ago
  • LINOVER
    emoticon Making it to 95 is a great accomplishment! It does sound, however, that your Mom might have to soon move to an assisted living situation where someone is present to help at all times. You and your siblings may have to make some decisions that you would rather not but need to for your Mom and your peace of mind!
    885 days ago
  • SMILINGEYES2
    Such sweet pics of your mom and family. Both of my sisters attended support groups for caregivers of Alzheimer's patients. They seemed to get a number of practical suggestions.
    885 days ago
  • JANTHEBLONDE
    I'm so sorry to hear to hear about the decline of your mothers health. Sending lots of hugs love your way.
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • LIVEDAILY
    I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. 95 is such an amazing age to attain!! Most older folk do SO much better early in the day. It gets more difficult for them to function as the day progresses - it's called "sundowning". Does your brother take care of her full time? Is he able to do this, or is he needing help? A day care nurse's aide might be able to come in in the afternoon to give your brother a respite, and also tend to your Mom's personal needs. I know you worry about her falling again. I hope that you will be able to make the decisions needed to maintain her quality of life.
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • KIMTEMPLE8
    I went thru that with my Mom. She passed after 3 years living with me. I am just glad I was there to help her because it was the right thing to do. Take care of yourself first tho and everyone after. emoticon
    886 days ago
  • TUTUNAN
    My heart goes out to you and your family. I've been there with my Mom and a brother, so I know what you are facing. Remember to take care of yourself, as well.
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • SHAWFAN
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • LIS193
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • LINDA!
    Praying for your mother. You have been so blessed to have her live at such a ripe age. I lost mine when she was 62. Take care of yourself. Kudos to you for being such an awesome daughter.
    886 days ago
  • JAZZEJR
    I'm starting to discover how true it is that getting old is not for cowards. But I plan to smile my way through it just like your mom. :)
    886 days ago
  • BARBARAJ73
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • PATRICIA-CR
    My mom is in the same situation. Not an easy task. It breaks my heart to see her deteriorating slowly towards death. emoticon
    886 days ago
  • MORTICIAADDAMS
    Most of my family members have died before dementia arrived - everyone but my maternal grandmother and my maternal grandpa's mother. So I hope it is something I won't have to deal with. We got my father a live in care giver when he developed physical problems and it worked out well. I hope you have the finances to do that.
    886 days ago
  • HOLLYM48
    All the best to all of you in this journey. I know you cherish the time you have with her. The good, the bad and the ugly.
    886 days ago
  • WILSONWR
    You and your mom do have some tough challenges ahead. I wish you the very best.
    886 days ago
  • GARDENCHRIS
    it is hard to see our mom's declining, emoticon
    886 days ago
  • KPHEALTHY4LIFE
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • BROOKLYN_BORN
    May the good help you through the bad and difficult times. emoticon
    886 days ago
  • JACKIEWALKS4FUN
    I understand. emoticon
    886 days ago
  • NASFKAB
    94 is such a special age & your Mom is there you are great looking after her
    886 days ago
  • -JAMES-
    One has grown up being the child, and your mom and dad being the parents. So later in life it is hard to actually take an essentially parental role, and make decisions for them. Its is the exact opposite of the roles earlier in life.

    Late in my dads life I made decisions that made him somewhat unhappy. He wanted things a certain way, and yet that was getting more and more unreasonable. I'd have to bend over backwards, and do all sorts of things for him, and in the end it only made his life a little better, not much though, and mad my life a whole lot more miserable.

    In the end I had to convince myself that I wasn't being selfish, that I was just increasing the average happiness in the family. Sort of for "the greater good", or "the greatest good for the greatest number". In your mom's case you also know that there can be a catastrophe.
    886 days ago
  • HMBROWN1
    Wow! 95 years old! I hope and pray that my parents live that long. You may have some tough times and tough decisions ahead and but it least you have your Mom. How wonderful!
    886 days ago
  • EISSA7
    Good advice about the UTI...causes immediate confusion and can come on quite suddenly. Prayers and hugs....walked this same path with my Mom.
    886 days ago
  • LIVINHEALTHY9
    emoticon
    886 days ago
  • JOYCRN
    Please make sure to gave her checked for a urinary tract infection. Increased confusion is often a symptom in the elderly.
    886 days ago
  • DESERTDREAMERS
    At least your Mom still has some good days. Bless you for taking such good care of her.
    886 days ago
  • SWALLIS7
    I've felt those same painful feelings. My dad is 90 & has Alzheimer's. I am his primary caregiver with the help of my children. It's painful to watch them decline, you are a marvelous woman- you will get through it & someday be so rewarded! Hugs! 🤗
    886 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    (((HUGS)))) I totally understand. Mom and Dad tried to stay in their condo in IL even after Mom's diagnosis of dementia in 2013. Then it all changed in 2015 when she fell and broke her hip. Between the physical recuperation and the worsening of her Alzheimer's (most likely lots of which was due to the anesthetic), she could no longer be in their condo. So, after her recuperation in the rehab, moved Dad and MOm here to WI with us. The decline seemed to stabilize and I cared for her with home health help 3 days/week. Then on 01 Jan. 2017 both had health crises and on 05 Jan. both had to be moved to a memory care facility. **SIGH** Sad, but I am glad I could take care of them as long as it was possible. And my Mom is @ a toddler age mentally, too. That's difficult when they're "housed" in an adult body. And strong.

    Wrapping you in prayers. It's not easy!
    886 days ago
  • OMAJ1953
    Im sorry. My daughter helps me some. She hates it
    886 days ago
  • MARYJOANNA
    We hate to see these thins happen. 95 is a great age to be able to attain!
    886 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

More Blogs by JSTETSER