the surrender of life
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
I find myself entering a new chapter in my life. Becoming the ONLY support person to my elderly mother, who seems to be entering the early stages of dementia.
My brother has his reasons, he has a young child in school and a wife who is extremely sick and disabled. He lives right next door to her, so he is able to get there if she calls, he works around on things at the house, etc, he should, since he inherited all of the land, house, etc.
But does very little in the way of support, such as doctors appts, etc.
My sister, now that is the shocker of it all.
My sister is a health care worker, has been for about 25 years, she has worked in nursing homes, and has seen dementia and other types of mental illness.
Yet she has written her mother off, she wont even answer the phone anymore.
I am the only one.
I am doing it all, taking the 530 am phone calls.
Listening to the stories about how someone is coming into her home when shes gone, listening to the stories of how this one said or that one did, or who all hates her and how she is dying of heart failure.....yet, she has NOT been diagnosed as having any kind of heart disorder....and I am the only one taking her to her appointments, which are more and more frequent lately as she is not only beginning dementia, but, she is a hypochondriac and is constantly thinking up some new illness that she needs to be tested for.
Yet, no doctor has ever really been able to diagnose her with any real illness.
The only counselor she has been to has just prescribed what i call Monkey dope.
Pills that she will mix with other pills and over the counter pills and more pills and who all knows what shes taking, which might be a part of the problem.
I have made the heart wrenching decision to get an emergency order to be appointed her guardian until she is evaluated and maybe gets some in patient treatment, Get her medications lined out and see if this is part of the problem.
I am not even discussing it with my siblings, as they have pretty much turned their backs on me left me dangling to take all the heat.
I am searching for a support group for childen of elderly parents with dementia, etc, caregiver support groups.
So, today, instead of getting ready to go walk my daily walk, I am getting ready to take her to drop her dog off at the groomers, then on to the heart doc, so she can try to get him to tell her shes dying of heart disease.
I will probably sit for 2 to 3 to 4 hours.
I will have to listen to the insane things she says and the same old stories retold for the 19th time in as many days.
And I will bite my lip as much as possible and I will come home and take a hot bath and cry my silent tears about how defeated I feel.
And I will probably do it again next week.
Tomorrow I have planned to go the court to try to get the paperwork in order to have her evaluated. This is probably not going to go well, as our area is lacking in the area of mental health care.
Pills. That is the answer you get here, more junk dope.
But, if it will get her to a doctor who might be able to line all that medicine out for her and see if she is over medicating or what is causing this, maybe it is alzheimers, maybe they can make the determination.
But its up to me to figure this all out.