ISABELLE84
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An update

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Hi.

I’ve been gone. A long time. Busy playing the ostrich. I was doing so good. Then, I told myself I could eat a little piece of dark chocolate. That’s when the downhill ride began. Short after that, I met my boss in her office because she wanted to ask me about a recent request I had made. Looking back on it, it was a stupid move for reasons that are all wrong but it doesn’t make the situation otherwise.

See, I have a temporary assignment and I am mostly doing high rank tasks BUT I am paid the lowest rank salary. I asked my union rep to inquire about the highest rank tasks list to compare what I do to what’s on the list. We didn’t go any further than asking for the list when my boss asked me to meet her.

My reading of the situation is that she was utterly insulted that I could think myself as efficient as the person I fill for. She kept repeating it was “a funny move” for a person in my situation. She bashed me until I cried, went as far as saying to me that she didn’t see my potential in any domains relevant to my job. Let’s say I didn’t cope with it very professionally. I took the afternoon off and the morning after, she pointed it out. To which I answered that it was a personal attack. It stayed there until she apologized 10 days later. She apologized for making me feel bad but not for what she said. She told me she was having a bad day and she didn’t react properly. She didn’t apologize for insulting me or making me cry, no, just for the way she had said the things she said. She did it again with another temp employee - she was harsh toward a question she had than apologized the day after.

Through all this, I found out that I rarely have excuses/reasons to defend myself with. It’s all right to take the blame when it’s really your fault but sometimes, it’s genuinely not your fault. You did everything you could, with all the best intentions but the results weren’t what was expected. I need to learn to let go of the blame when it’s not my fault or when there is circumstances. It cannot be black or white. I don’t like being considered as a victim so I own my mistakes and deal with it. I also own a mistake when it’s not mine but the blame has been put on me. So… !

After all that, I was even more set to find another job so I pushed into full gear the job searching. I’m happy to report I am currently filling security forms to get clearance for my new job! When that clearance comes back clean, I’ll start my new job, it means January 2018. In the meantime, I’ll be unemployed but it’s all right, I’ll take the time to make homemade Christmas gifts and focus on my health. And I have insurance for that kind of stuff.

As for my health journey, well, I will focus on eating better and staying within range for calories. I’ve been on weight loss mode for so long now...I am tired. I don’t want to stop trying so I need to change my focus. My focus needs to be on getting healthier not thinner.

Thanks for sticking by!

Have a good week, peace xo
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • IMAHAPPYSTEPPER
    New beginnings! Don't look back, but to the future and it's possibilities!
    755 days ago
  • GRANDMABEAST63
    I am so sorry to read this; but my friend you know I have been through something similar in the last years actually. I am also sorry that she made you cry, a good leader or manager would approach this differently by saying ok you have some weakneness to work on however, here are your strenghts ! Bring on 2018, I am sure you will do great in your new position. emoticon
    781 days ago
  • ALOFA0509
    emoticon I'm sorry you went thru that. You stood up for yourself and asked relevant question's. It takes Gut's to stand up for yourself and approach your boss about a pay increase. I'm glad your seeking employment else where. Yes take this time to reflect on your new goals, and enjoying the Holiday Season with family and friends.. Cheers emoticon
    781 days ago
  • CHERIRIDDELL
    I am so glad you are back.No boss has the right to make you cry for defending yourself.She was a toxic personality. I told you before and I meant it your language skills are very good for her to treat you like that was appalling .The fact she did it to another temporary employee proves that the issue was hers. You deserve much better.
    783 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    Ahh Isabelle, I'm so glad to read another blog from you. I've missed you. First of all I want to say you were totally right by getting out of that stressful situation, and also being totally unappreciated to boot. Some people are just like that and forget that they were in your shoes at one time or another. They forget that without you, that they now have to retrain and replace you. In the long run it costs the company more, and in my opinion they need to look into who their managers are. Glad you got another job! I hope that this job will be a permanent one for you.

    I'm glad that you are focusing on being healthy. That's what it is all about. Glad to see you stuck to your guns with controlling your weight. As for me, I'm still fighting the battle, but have made major changes, that have resulted in weight loss, and being healthier. I don't look at it as losing weight, but rather living the healthiest I can be. Take care Isabelle and keep on your path.

    So good to hear from you again.


    783 days ago
  • DIANEDOESSMILES
    Isabelle, gal I’m Proud if I!! I R worth a raise. Congrats on taking much deserved credit and leaving with the bear pounced on u!! I have been a supervisor and to be a good one u put yourself in the other person shoes. If I wasn’t agreeable I’d let them explain why. Sometimes they were right!!

    Restart over. If we limit ourselves on a type. Kind of food 9 out of 10 times it’ll bite us. Hugs!!
    783 days ago
  • JEANKNEE
    Isabelle, It is so good to hear from you! emoticon emoticon

    I am happy to hear that you have sought employment elsewhere. The previous situation did not sound healthy. Way to take care of yourself. Proud of you!
    783 days ago
  • CHELZANNE
    That's exactly how I am going to do my eating too - healthy foods and not so much calorie counting. And increase activity in my life. I appreciate how you are changing your focus right now. As far as the job, Good for you!! This is better for you! I am also looking for a new job so understand that frustration. God bless you in your new health journey. We can do this! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    783 days ago
  • MOLLIEMAC
    Isabelle, welcome back and congrats for "taking the bull by the horns" and moving on. A toxic workplace is terrible for one's physical and mental health so take your time off and focus on you. You being healthy! The rest will follow when your head and body are in a good space. emoticon emoticon
    783 days ago
  • CPOUNDSDROP
    You are smart to leave that job. Never feel bad for sticking up for yourself. Asking for more money is very brave.you deserve more money and respect. I wish you well.
    784 days ago
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