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Time To Get The Ball Rolling....Again!

Wednesday, January 24, 2018

So, the photo at the top of my Spark page is a photo of a woman walking in a sports top & shorts that show below the belly button. My Sparkpeople avatar is of slim legs. I've had these photos here for quite awhile and the reason they were chosen is because that is what I wanted to aspire to. I say 'wanted' because I now have a scar right below my belly button all the way down to my pelvis area (more information on this in a blog to come, as I'm not quite ready to talk about this yet.) My vision of ever being what I see in these pictures is now zero. The reality is I'm not sure I'd be able to lose enough weight to look like either of these photos because even when I was at my lowest weight as a teenager I wasn't this fit. And of course back then, I still felt I wasn't thin enough........if only I knew then what I know now.

Tomorrow I'm going to finally step on my elliptical again. I'm really not supposed to start until February by doctors orders & for no longer than 10 minutes, but I'm anxious and want to start. I promised myself if I start to hurt I will stop. But I have to try.

You see, at this point in my life I'm more worried about FEELING better than LOOKING like the photos I've been trying to achieve for so many years. Would I like to still look like those pics? Heck yeah!!!!!! But so much has changed within my body in the past 2 1/2 months that I just want to feel rested, focused....just normal again. Yes, I'm trying to lose weight and treat my body better with healthier food choices, but the goal now is so much different than when I started here on Sparkpeople 10 years ago when I was a mother of a 1 and 5 year old.
I just need to accept where I am at with my overall health and have a vision of small goals of where I want to go from here.

Life is definitely a strange journey at times and these past few months have been a rollercoaster for me. I'm hoping I can once again use the SparkPeople site to aide me in getting healthier and allow the people here to be a source of encouragement & strength, as welll as for me to be the same to others. I value this site so much more than Facebook because here people aren't afraid to comment, support, be friendly....just be R-E-A-L!!!!
Which is funny because you're all strangers to me, but yet more supportive that people I actually know on Facebook.

Anyhow, it's time to get the ball rolling once again & tomorrow is the day!

Thanks for reading & stay tuned for p-r-o-g-r-e-s-s!!!!! emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • GETFITNLEAN
    RETIREESMITH: Yes, I think I probably will search for a new cover photo. Although I like this one, it reminds me too much of things I was focusing on before.

    REBECCATKD: Thank you! I exercised on Thursday (1/25/18----my official start date for 2018) and did 30 minutes on the elliptical only up to resistance level 3. I took the next day off and today I did 40 minutes up to resistance level 4. Definitely easing back into exercise and listening to my body.
    997 days ago
  • REBECCATKD
    What a lovely revelation that you've had about feeling better being the most important thing! It's an enlightening vision that you share, and it makes so much sense.
    Please take of yourself as you are healing! In your quest to feel better, I would not want you to inflict any additional pain.
    1000 days ago
  • RETIREESMITH
    Oh, do be careful if you were told February. Please do stop if any pain.
    We're all on a journey--you've changed from looking to feeling better. If you're dissatified with these pictures, how about some that reflect your new goal of feeling better--pictures of favorite activities?
    1000 days ago
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