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Subject: 1. The Jewish Elbow, 2. The Italian Grandfather 2. The Irish Blonde

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Subject: 1. The Jewish Elbow, 2. The Italian Grandfather 2. The Irish Blonde

Just a Few Little Funnies to Brighten Your Day !!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon



1. The Jewish ELBOW

A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is
coming to visit with his wife.

"You come to the front door of the apartment. I am in apartment 301 . There
is a big panel at the front door. With your elbow, push button 301. I will
buzz you in. Come inside, the elevator is on the right. Get in, and with
your elbow, push 3. When you get out, I'm on the left.. With your elbow, hit
my doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy, but, why am I hitting all these buttons with my
elbow? .........

"What . . . .. .. You're coming empty handed?"

______________________________ _________________

2. Wise Italian Grandfather

Why Italian Fathers and Grandfathers pass their handguns down through the
family.

An old Italian man is dying. He calls his grandson to his bedside, Guido, I
wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so
you will always remember me."

"But grandpa, I really don't like guns.. How about you leave me your Rolex
watch instead?"

"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da business, you gonna
have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a big-a home and maybe a couple of
bambinos. "

"Somma day you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed with
another man.
"Whatta you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, 'times up' "?

______________________________ ______________________________ _____________

3. Irish Blonde...

An attractive blonde from Cork , Ireland , arrived
at the casino. She seemed a little intoxicated and bet twenty
thousand dollars in a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much
luckier when I'm completely nude." with that, she stripped from the neck
down, rolled the dice and with an Irish brogue yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama
needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down
and squealed. "Yes! Yes! I won, I won!" She hugged each of the dealers,
picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I
don't know - I thought you were watching."

MORAL OF THE STORY

Not all Irish are drunks, not all blondes are dumb,
..... but all men...are men!
______________________________ ______________________________ _____________

Global Facts About Sex

At any given moment:

FACT: 79,000,000 people are having sex - right now.
FACT: 58,000,000 are kissing.
FACT: 37,000,000 are relaxing after having sex.
FACT: 1 old person is reading emails.

You hang in there, sunshine!
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