I felt like I could do it on my own...
Tuesday, April 17, 2018
I felt I could do it on my own – after 10 years, you’d think I knew better. But I can’t & anyway, I know I’m stronger with all of you by my side. What happened to me, you wonder?
I lost myself in the last couple of weeks; I met a guy who said ‘I love you’ but never had any intention of actually loving me. I let him use me because I thought we had a fair bargain when clearly, it was a one-sided one. Last Wednesday, I couldn’t take it anymore and I told him I was leaving (we had been trying to live together in his apartment) & he was shocked (but relieved, I figured it after). I guess he hadn’t noticed all my stuff missing… So I left his place, crying, the words ‘He let me go’ throbbing in my head and never looked back.
Also, I’m not proud to report that I spent the last couple of days eating my weight in chips & chocolate. My face is breaking with pimples (ok, only some on the forehead... but I don’t have pimples usually..!) and my psoriasis is itching like crazy. I really need to learn to cope with my feelings without stuffing my face…
Anyway, I took the day off yesterday, cleaned my place (my ex moved out last week and the place was a mess!) & got organized.
I got a new job – I now work for the government with a good salary and good conditions. I am moving into a smaller apartment (and one I can afford on my own) in July. As I said, my ex moved out at the beginning of April (he’ll keep paying the rent though as our agreement says) so I am living on my own – again. I am not unhappy to live by myself or to have broken up with him & after the last fiasco, I am not ready to get involved but… I feel a bit lonely and sad.
I’ll take the time to look you up my friends, this week. See where you are at.
Thank you for your time,