Wednesday, April 18, 2018
I am just tired. Physically and emotionally. I am feeling negative and can't seem to get into a groove of any sort. I have contemplated signing up for Jenny Craig or Nutrisystem so I have some direction--but good grief the food is expensive! I still have to cook for my family and there is this deep part of me that knows this can be done with healthy eating and exercise. I do great with the healthy eating for breakfast, snacks, lunch (everything I do or take to work), but come 4 pm I am just done. And I know this is my difficult/trigger time. I know I need to make a different habit for this time of day. But then the tired hits. I am super motivated to get a workout in at about 1 or 2 pm. I am even motivated to get up and do it before work at about 10 pm. But getting up at 4:30 so that I have time to workout and get to work on time--not so motivated. I love SparkPeople, I even loved weight watchers--but I just feel aimless. I am reading articles, I've read more than my fair share of "getting healthy" books--still don't feel the focus I need.
Feel a bit like a Debbie Downer--but I need to get this all out. I know that I need to substitute my normal tired routine right after work for my exercise routine. Even when my kids are in sports--I can fit in a workout before games. I know the more fit I become the less tired I will be. I recently spent a good chunk of change on a nice elliptical and completely rearranged the living room space to accommodate it. I have a Beach Body on Demand membership, resistance bands, hand weights, kettle balls, yoga mat, DVDs. I have the money and time to buy healthy food. Its all there and available to me. I have the tools, I have the knowledge. So why can't I seem to do this? I am motivated, I'm a self-starter. Am I busy? Yes. I have 5 kids, a full-time job with some evening work, I'm a college student taking a big course load to get finished, and my husband travels out of state a lot. But are other people just as busy or busier? Yes. Are they making this work? Yes. I just want to feel in control and I want to be fit and healthy. Skinny? No. I just want to have working out part of my daily routine that I look forward to and that I can use to help reduce stress. Right now exercise is hard--I'm 150 pounds overweight, so it isn't easy, no matter what type of workout I choose. I have issues controlling food impulses--I generally give into cravings, even though I am telling myself to replace or distract or do anything else.
But I will keep on going and keep on delving into what is behind all of this. This week I am going to try and get to bed a little earlier and change up my after work routine. Start focusing on what I AM doing instead of what I AM NOT doing.