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5/1/18 Get up

Tuesday, May 01, 2018



"The one who falls and gets up is so much stronger than the one who never fell."

Three old maids die and arrive in heaven at the same time.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven:
don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their
best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a
duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes
St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly
man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first
woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all
eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, then one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on
... very tall, dark hair, and muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word and walks away.

The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you
for all of eternity?"

The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

bestcleanjokes.com

It's Keep Kids Alive! Drive 25 Day! A good reminder to watch our speeds in neighborhoods. You never know when a kid is going to dash out after a ball. It's also May Day! Beltane Day if you're Gaelic. It's Batman Day, Childhood Depression Awareness Day, Executive Coaching (is it working?), Foster Care Day (hats off to those who take in vulnerable children), Global Love Day (yes, please), Hug Your Cat Day (if they'll let you, otherwise an extra scratch under the chin), Workers Day, Law Day (so much could be said), Lei Day (each Hawaiian island has their own lei for this day), Lemonade Day (almost time for the homemade stands), Loyalty Day, Melanoma Day (wear a hat and get checked out), Mother Goose Day (read a story to a youngster), Bubba Day (really?), Purebred Dog Day, New Homeowner Day (remember that feeling?), School Principal's Day, Silver Star Day (for the medal of valor given to service members), Skyscraper Day, Stepmother Day (they need more recognition), Asthma Day, and Poem on Your Pillow (next to the chocolate?).
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