All Work & No Play~
Saturday, May 19, 2018
Since Spring has started, I've been playing. Veering off my rigid tracks that I set for myself. Stretching out to see how far I can go. I need this time, but I need my structure too. I'm light weight OCD and find that when I veer too far from my markers, I can skid into Chaos.
I watch things about our health. About Corporations holding money over people and it makes me sick. I remember this is why I started this journey. Because I wasn't going to let someone else's decisions dictate what would happen to my life. I gained confidence in the journey. And I've learned how precariously I sit where I do. As if I can peer down into the waters and see the reflection of my prior self. How easy it would be to slip back in the water. Be comforted by the waves and the cool drink. But the water lies. It hides how heavy you feel inside by bouncing you up on it's waves. And when you finally swim to shore and move to stand, you can barely climb onto the beach.
And in my new self I've felt muscles pulling flesh where I want it to go. The tightening of the fascia in my skin as I move my body where I want it to go. And I wont give up this control.
I need my rigid tracks back now. I've sauntered off into the woods and while it was fun, I need to continue on my journey. Back to it then. Onward & forward I go again.