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5/20/18 Bite

Sunday, May 20, 2018



"Someone once told me not to bite off more than I could chew. I said I'd rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity."

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled, "Stop! Acts 2:38 (Repent and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.) The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you." "Scripture?" replied the burglar. "She said she had an ax and two 38's!"

bestcleanjokes.com

It's Eliza Doolittle Day! Who remembers "My Fair Lady"? Did you sing along with "The Rain in Spain" or felt like you "could have danced all night"? It's also Quiche Lorraine Day (yummy!), Be a Millionaire Day (I can dream), Pick a Strawberry Day (nothing like fresh, juicy strawberries), WhitSunday, Weights and Measures Day (where would we be without a system of measuring? No scales!), Take Your Parents to the Playground Day (a reminder to be young at heart), Soil Stewardship Day (a reminder to respect and protect lands everywhere), Ride a Unicycle Day (I'll pass), Neighbor Day (say howdy to your neighbor), Rescue Dog Day (adopt, don't buy), Clinical Trials Day (recognizes the immense value to society of the testing by volunteers), Autoimmune Arthritis Day, and Bay to Breakers Race Day (a foot race in San Francisco that is the oldest race in the USA).
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