Monday, July 02, 2018
I'm going to skip the whole "I'm back! this time will be it!" I mean, I sure hope so, but who knows. I've been sure many times. There is a difference this time and that is that I've been diagnosed with autoimmune diseases (which I mentioned in my last blog) which could motivate me in two ways: 1) I know why I'm fatigued and in pain all the time. So all of the negative "I'm so lazy, what's wrong with me" self talk I've had my whole life, is ending. I know why I need to rest and I know it's not my fault. 2) I know that a change in diet, exercise and weight can help my symptoms and diseases, I need to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible, so there's motivation in that. This isn't temporary, this is for the rest of my life, so there is no waiting it our or "when I'm better I'll..." I never know when I'll have a good day or when I'll be in a flare for months, so if I can do anything I better take advantage of that.
Anyway, whether I'm here or not I'm always trying. Between all of this, life, and medication side effects I'm about 10 lbs over my previous highest ever. It's discouraging to say the least. But the alternative of just gaining and gaining and becoming less mobile is not an option.
I know from past experience that I can't change everything overnight, so right now I'm focusing on one choice at a time. I'm trying to form more positive habits like less phone and tv, more reading educational or motivational things, because that feels better. obviously more fruits and veggies, exercise, etc. Even decluttering the house. Step by step, choice by choice.
Like previously when I've come back and blogged or whatever, I'd get discouraged by how many people that I knew are now gone. I get discouraged if my blog doesn't get many comments, etc. But I'm doing this for me. And the more involved I get in groups, etc, the more that will happen naturally. just like writing this. Sure it's updating whoever might read it, but it's for me to get my thoughts straight, etc. So I don't want to be on here all of the time. Once maybe twice a day to check in and make it routine.
Everything in moderation. :)