Friday, July 06, 2018
OMG y'all! I broke 220!!!! I seriously have not been below 220 since somewhere around my sophomore year in college! I'm within 20 pounds of ONEderland!! Sanely. Safely. This is huge! I never thought I would ever be grateful for my food allergies and my celiac disease but I'm realizing that those two things changed my entire relationship with food. My whole life food has been my comfort and my weight my armor against the world. Dealing with the fact that I was a survivor of sexual assault (Yes #MeToo) allowed me to be willing to consider shedding my ineffectual armor but it wasn't until certain foods started making me actively sick instead of merely passively sick (obesity) that the hold food had on me was broken. Giving up gluten and with it my primary source of food related comfort was the hardest thing I ever did diet wise. Compared to that counting calories and moderating my intake of all the things left that i can eat is easy. I never allow myself to get hungry. I eat what I want within my calorie goals without much angst about what I do that with. If I am over on fat percentages, oh well. I only eat good fats anyway. I monitor my sugar intake more closely because I'm diabetic but other than that I eat what I want. No deprivation. If I want to go over my calorie allotment I can as long as I write it down. So far nothing has been worth it to me. Just like intentionally ingesting gluten or pork will NEVER be worth it to me. Learning to survive while saying no to those taught me to say no to anything else I don't want in my diet or my life. Onward and Downward! Let's do this thing!