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By older brain cells make me top heavy sometimes!

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Saturday, September 29, 2018

Just look at these children---
Life can be so much fun-----if I think "light thoughts"--
--thoughts that don't weigh me down---
Yesterday I paisted that onto my scales---"LIGHTEN UP"---

How can these scales ever go down, if my head is full of "Depths of despair" thoughts?

You see, I'm a Mom----and when you become this Mom, no-one tells you that it's a life time thing---that once a Mom--always a Mom---
-Even when you are a Grand Mom, -------there is still that word--MOM in there----
And Moms, as they age, and their brain cells are frazzled from all the trials of raising these
children,--well, these same brain cells are so over worked, they don't know how to quit working , even when their children are grown--in fact they work harder---
And by now the grown children have multiplied so there are more people to worry about--

Sparking does help-teaches me to hoof it up the road---sometimes I dance around the house----but--- (that big "butt") there are times these kids and my overused brain cells collide---like yesterday---when son #4 ---announced --he is thinking about moving --from our wee town---to a job which pays more---but----to me is dangerous-
And of course why would he listen to the parents---with the over worked brain cells--

So to-day , with the sign on my scales, that I should stop over using the brain cells--- face this day --lighten up--- spark---- and stop preaching what Mom's tell their kids---
"Bite my Tongue" as Himself keeps informing me--
Grand parents only have half a tongue anyway---We have to bite it so often you know--

Lord love a Duck--To-day I shall---"LIGHTEN UP" --as Himself says--
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Love the "lighten up" on your scale! Great idea!! My son is a police officer in the Denver area... That is pretty dangerous, but I have to remind myself that he is in God's hands and I pray every day for him (and his family) to be protected from accident, illness, danger and evil. I think it's just as dangerous for his sons and his wife. She is a police detective. Our world is crazy. But I know they love their work! One day, he hopes to "retire" and work for a lawyer's office. He's had pretty good training to be able to do that... Safer? maybe-
    482 days ago

    Please don't worry... "Worry" is an unhealthy choice.

    Yes we care.. but don't worry it is like a cancer it does no one good.

    482 days ago
  • LIS193
    482 days ago
    I can totally relate. On the other side, it is oh-so-healthy to let them (adult children) be and learn from their mistakes. I give the suggestion but that's about it. It hurts but there's no other way. We have to detach from them at least to a certain extent.
    482 days ago
  • ELSCO55
    I hear you.i am at the same stage in my life. It gets worse as the great grandkids start arriving.
    482 days ago
    I think every mom knows the feeling. But they are adults, and we kind of have to let them be who they are. May you find that freedom we all seek! emoticon emoticon
    482 days ago
    482 days ago
    I am the same Lynda. Do not like having Penny and Jeff moving to Az. and worry every time they are on the road. One son living down by St cloud, Mn. and Bob caring for his son 24 hours. He doesn't sleep much and it shows on his face so I worry. Robin lives with me as is a widow but has had to work hard all her life, lots of bad decisions, would not listen to Mom who knows everything after all. We are not looking forward to winter, looks as if we will get no warmer sunny weather for a nice fall which is my favorite season. 29 degrees this morning emoticon Keep on keeping on Mom,it is what we do. emoticon
    482 days ago
    No matter what happens, we are always Mom. You have to let your children make their own decisions no matter what! Carry on!

    482 days ago
    (((HUGS))) emoticon
    482 days ago
    I'm sure your son has considered the safety of the town vs the need for financial security for his family. You just have to trust your son and the universe. It is hard; my daughter lives in an area that requires more diligence. It's doable, you just can't be lazy.

    I like WESTERNSAGE's job title for older parents: sideline cheerleader. It recognizes that our children are independent and strong because we taught them and that we support and advocate for them.

    482 days ago
    Hang in there! So true about once a mom, always a mom!
    emoticon emoticon
    482 days ago
    You are correct that being a Mom is a lifelong job but that doesn't mean the job description stays the same that whole time. As they become adults our role shifts to "sideline cheerleader" and letting them run their own lives. That includes letting them move on. Your daughter moved away for the sake of her family: why should your son not do the same? It's past time to cut those apron strings. Spark is always reminding us to take time for ourselves; that works better when we stop trying to manage the lives of other people, including our children.
    482 days ago
  • WALNUTT1961
    Me too! My daughter is driving up from the city to see us for the day. 1.5 hour drive one way - I worry. Son is going to a football game 2 hours from home and then to that same city for a concert tonight - I worry.
    My mom went to that same city today to a dinner theater on a bus - I worry. I will try to enjoy my visit with my daughter while trying not to worry about everyone being on the roads in the rain today. emoticon

    I need to stop worrying too! It's in the Lord's hands
    482 days ago
    The hardest thing a Mom has to do is to let go.

    482 days ago
    Thank God for the beautiful sunshine today...meeting my daughter for lunch. emoticon emoticon Yes we do worry about our children but that is part of our job! Letting go is easier said than done, but I ask for help from above!
    482 days ago

    Comment edited on: 9/29/2018 11:00:05 AM
    I hear you too, Lynda. I'm sure you have heard..."if you love someone set them free and they will come back to you".

    Your son may need to do this. He is trying to make the best decision for his family. He may even rethink and change his mind but....you have to try to let him go with optimism and strength looking to his future and not being fearful because you and Himself have discouraged him. I KNOW that is hard. I have one son who has had several dangerous jobs, another son who lives over 800 miles away, as does my daughter. I worry about them all, I want them close and safe every minute. I am a MOM!

    I also know that I moved away from my family with a husband who was career Air Force. I felt homesick, lonely, and sometimes ALONE but I knew I was where I needed to be throughout all our many moves.

    My mother and father never made me feel I had made the wrong decision but I knew they worried when I married this man I had only dated for 3 weeks and who came from far away. Well it has been a good life and all our decisions were made for the best for our family. Your son is trying to do right for his family. If it doesn't work out he will make another decision but he is a good man from everything you have said, strong because of his parents and he will be okay.

    It IS hard, Lynda. I'm not preaching...just saying. Put a smile on your face and let him know that you know that he is strong. Hard to let these chicks step out, isn't it?
    482 days ago
    I have to keep telling myself to "Let go and let God" handle some of the worries.... emoticon
    482 days ago
    I have often joked that motherhood is a life sentence when even murderers sometimes get lighter sentences.
    482 days ago
    Biting my tongue has gotten harder as I have gotten older. I am a work in progress with that. emoticon
    482 days ago
    Wanting the best for our children always outweighs the desire to have them close. Sending you hugs.
    482 days ago
  • no profile photo CANTSTAYAWAY
    Many of us can relate! It is so hard being a Mom FOREVER! I have found myself in a stressful situation with one of my children recently, because I didn’t “ hold my tongue”.
    In reading all of these responses, with lots of great and similar opinions, for me, CONTROUBLE really impressed me with:
    “To worry inside and cheer the kids on with their lives on the outside- that’s what Moms do”

    WATERMELLEN commented on another blog, relating to kindness. Going forward, I am going to try and remember this before I speak. “Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? “
    With regards to my daughter, my comments were true, said in kindness, but not necessary! Or wanted!

    We love them, and try our best, and in the end, it is their life, even if it isn’t the life we want for them!

    Have a great day, dear lady! emoticon
    482 days ago
  • MBPP50
    Oh, sweetie, I know it’s tough. I worked a dangerous job in a big city (Houston, Texas) that was 1000 miles away from my family and they hated it. But I survived. The only thing I can say is that we just have to have faith that everything will be okay and if not, then we will get through whatever will come. Now that I live with them (temporarily), I am a volunteer working with kids in foster care and I have one case and it freaks my dad out. So I have a phone number that he can call (my volunteer supervisor) if he ever gets worried about me. Hang in there and have a good day. emoticon
    482 days ago
    Two things I have discovered about myself - I can't stop wanting to apply the "Mom" fix and I can't stop wanting to nurse people if they are ill. Of the two, of course, is wanting to make everything work out for my kids and grandkids. But comes a time to all of us when we have to let those things go and let I children do what we hope we have helped them to become - responsible adults. You are right, Lynda, holding the tongue when it wants to intervene is really tough. But we do the best we can and then hope for forgiveness and love.

    Have a great weekend.

    482 days ago
    You're so right, we will always fill our brains with thoughts of our children, and now children-in-law and grandchildren. So many! But we raised them well and they are good human beings. I've read about your children and it seems to me that you and himself did an excellent job! I know I'm very proud of mine!
    482 days ago
    To worry inside and cheer the kids on with their lives on the outside - that's what Moms do.
    482 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    You absolutely right that you can't shut off the "Mom" thing, even when they are grown adults. I keep wondering how our own parents did it, and definitely my grandparents who left their country to come to this one. Exactly how did they not listen to their parents? And it keeps going on.

    It's hard to watch a generation go through the things that they do. I told my hubby the other day, I would of liked to see my Dad hear a car telling you where to go by using the GPS. I think he would of been super amazed. I watch my own son, and can't shut it down. We have our moments, as I still think of him as my little boy. When he states that he is going to do things, "biting one's tongue" gets awfully painful.

    We have devised a "Mom time". For a particular time of our visit together he gives me permission to say what I feel he should do as I would tell him when he was little. After that i shut it off, and all is good. I'm not saying he will do as I suggest, but at least he knows how I feel about it. Works for us.
    482 days ago
    OH you are so right! That Mom brain NEVER EVER stops working, no matter how old the kids are and then add into the mix grandkids. Lord! It's a wonder Grandma-brains don't implode! But, they don't.

    Well, prayers for son #4 as he makes his decision. i know . . . when my DS told us @ the age of 18 that he'd enlisted in the army, my Mom brain was all like "OMGOMGOMG! " But you can't stop them.

    HUGS my dear.
    482 days ago
    emoticon I really feel for you! I've been going through some stuff with my offspring too. There are days when I just give all my worries to God. You know what? God never gives them back! But.....It can be so scary to give up control. emoticon
    482 days ago
    I agree 100% Linda. It does get harder the older our kids get. We have to accept that their life is just that. They now make their own decisions and all we can do is pray they are right for them and “ bite our tongues”
    482 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    482 days ago
    482 days ago
    I chose never to become a mom, but as a daughter, let me say that, whether I heeded it or not, my parents' advice (& even more, their unstinting support) meant the world to me... at least, it did once we survived my adolescence... They'e been gone 19/20 years, but I am STILL attending to their advice.
    Hard on the parent, yes, priceless for the loved child, set free in love & trust.
    482 days ago
  • GLORYB83
    I hear you Lynda and I feel for you. That's what it's like to be a good Mom, we worry about our kids no matter how old they or we get!! In the end, the decisions are up to the grown kids and their mates. I pray your son makes the right decision and you accept whatever it is. It's hard, very hard.
    Hugs coming to you Lynda.
    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    482 days ago
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